The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Expat Files 5.9.25

#1- Announcing Johnny’s August 2025 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

Join in the fun. Mark August 15th through 22nd on your calendar and join me for a week as we drink from the fire hose in both Guatemala and El Salvador. To get in on the early bird discounts just go to www.expatplanb.com and click on the seminar link.     

 

#2- "SIN VERGUENZA” is a phrase you will hear a lot here in Latin America:

It means whne a person is without shame or one who is shameless.

Time to elaborate…. 

#3- Does it surprise you that Latinos are NOT very good at keeping secrets? 

 

#4- I'm not complaining but......since when have both fat, skinny and normal Latinas universally decided to strut at will in yoga pants that are two sizes too small? 

 

#5- If you hear your Latino or Latina significant other use the word “disimula”… its a sign you might soon be in the dog house: 

#6- Unstable and chaotic romantic relationships seem to be the norm in Latin America: 

 

#7- A word about the millions of Latino deadbeat dads who leach off of their exes:

They’re everywhere… just swing a dead cat and you’re bound to hit one.

 

#8- Now for a most embarrassing moment…

 #9- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#10- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 5.4.25

#1- Announcing Johnny’s August 2025 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

Join in the fun. Mark August 15th through 22nd on your calendar and join me in spending the week drinking from the fire hose in both Guatemala and El Salvador…  

 

#2- Expats living the “beach house” life:

Is it what it’s cracked up to be? Today we discuss the pros and cons of living the Expat beach house retirement dream…

 

#3- A listener proposes a totally un-PC Latin American IQ test:

Un-PC yes…but somehow it makes sense… 

#4- Social media addicts in Latin America: 

#5- The extraordinary privileges of upscale bicycle clubs in Latin America:

#6- Garage sales, estate sales and rummage sales in Latin America:

 

#7- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

 

#8- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

 

The Expat Files 5.2.25

#1- Announcing Johnny’s August 2025 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

Join in the fun and mark August 15th through 22nd on your calender. We’ll be spending that week drinking from the fire hose in both Guatemala and El Salvador…   

 

#2- Scammed in Latin America:

It’s happened to me a few times, but you live and learn. Don’t think you’re so smart that it can’t happen to you…

 

#3- Latin America is ripe for pyramid schemes and multi-level marketing scams:

Scammers continue to target millions of gullible Latinos who don’t really have the money to spare…

#4- A listener who has traveled to Mexico many times says, “Johnny, you’re all wrong about Mexico and here’s why”:

 

#5- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#6- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.27.25

#1- Announcing Johnny’s August 2025 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

Join in the fun and mark August 15^th through 22^nd on your calender because we’ll be spending the week drinking from the fire hose in both Guatemala and El Salvador…  

#2- A world travelling Expat listener tells us about his worst Air B&B experiences in Colombia: 

 

#3- Huelgas, protests and roadblocks:

Get use to it…their just the facts of life in Latin America…

#4- What you need to know about using WAZE in Latin America: 

#5- The pitfalls of caller ID: 

#6- Mexican Narco Music- Part 2: 

#7- Cancelling US travel visas …the US government’s best revenge against scumbag Latino narcos, bureaucrats and politicians:

 

#8- There’s a new breed of Airport thieves:

How tired, worn out, travelers get scammed by astute airport bad guys...

#9- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#10- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.25.25

#1- Announcing Johnny’s August 2025 “Expat Insider Seminar”: 

#2- A world travelling listener chimes in by saying the occasionally disgusting Latin American bathrooms are nothing compared to the crap bathrooms she’s seen in certain parts of Europe

#3- More very odd latin American personal names that will make you either laugh or cry:  

#4- More bad news for all you tattooed folks :

 

#5- Our man in Oaxaca Mexico finally throws in the towel:

After 8 years his paradise has turned sour..

#6- three trips to Mexico with the wife and robbed three times:A very unlucky listener chimes in…

 

 #7- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#-8 Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.20.25

#1- The annoying “one upmanship” problem that certain expats and gringos seem to want to bring to the table: 

 

#2- Expats and their tired old “war stories”:

Why do certain Expats blather on about what they used to own and what they lost in the divorce? Why do they still carry around old photos of that lost beach house and Range Rover?

 

#3- Expats and gringos, be advised that no one wants to see photos of your kids or grandkids

or hear about their spectacular brilliance:

Its dead boring to hear about any of that since no one gives a shit

about them except you… 

#4- A word about Chapi’s and Chapiadores (aka, gold-digging Latinas): 

 

#5- In defense of those Latinas who prefer much older gringo men:

You probably think its all about the money. Mostly true, but you may change your mind a bit after hearing a 28 year old Latina tell her story… 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

 

The Expat Files 4.18.25

#1- When you think your Spanish is better than it really is:

A common gringo / expat delusion…

#2- (Today by popular demand) The Guatemalan permanent Residency process described in great detail:

#3- That weird and crazy “apostille” process:

There are two types of “apostilles’ actually. If you apply for residency in any Latino country you will have to be familiar with both of them… 

#4- How to get instantly disqualified from the Permanent residency process:

 

#5- The problem with using the US Postal service to send stuff to Latin America:

It will usually get there but it could take 6 months… though definitely much cheaper than FEDEX or any of the courier services 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.13.25

#1- A word about those very big and nasty flying cucarachas:

 

#2- Boots on the ground in Paraguay:

How even smart, astute, Spanish speaking gringos get scammed in Paraguay...

 

#3- Direct from the ER (Emergency Room):

Some amazingly brutal Latin American motorcycle crash stats…

 

#4- Bicycle riding in Latin America:

Is it safe, enjoyable and recommended for gringos and expats?

 

#5- How Latinos deal with death and tragedy:

It’s different in some ways than how we gringos handle it…

#6- Latino humor and why we don’t get the joke:

#7- Latin cops and cell phones:

#8- Latinas and their tattoo habits:  

 

#9- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#10- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.11.25

#1- The strange phenomena of how certain absolutely talentless Latino males become super-popular, super-rich music DJ’s:

Lets see now, they can’t sing, can’t write songs, can’t banter (not much can be done with a 20 word vocabulary) and they can’t play a single musical instrument… WTF?   

#2- When there’s always an Earthquake, fire or hurricane on the Latin American horizon- what’s the proper building material to use when constructing or buying a home in Latin America?

 

#3- Why is it Latinos are almost NEVER prepared for the next impending natural disaster:

Even though all adult Latinos have been through severe hurricanes and/or earthquakes, they don’t seem to have the “impending doom” syndrome like we see with so many Gringos and expats (especially Californians) and therefore don't prepare.  

#4- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#5- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.6.25

#1- “Hey Mommy… a Narco’s moved into the neighborhood”- Part 2 

 

#2- Bad with money:

How wealthy Latinos routinely waste their dough:

 

#3- Too many houses:

Why wealthy Guatemalans generally own three different beautiful homes but oddly enough, none are maintained to gringo standards…

 

#4- A few words about owning a beach house in Latin America:

It’s a dream of many. Problem is the maintenance is never ending,  so the image is usually much nicer than the reality... 

#5- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#6- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com