The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Obama re-election effect in Latin America; and a few words about Latin politics in general: after all, it would be nice to know if there are any genocidal dictators in the neighborhood.

-Latins just Love Obama, but when you ask a Latin person why you get no good answer. In fact, of the 20 plus “so-called” educated Latins I’ve spoken to about this Obama love affair, none can actually name a single positive thing he’s done either. And get this; when asked who Obama is running against most just don’t know, and the rest just blurt “George Bush?”(duh?)

-Did you know that every major Latin celebrity/star like Shakira, Selma Hayak and Ricky Martin(yuk) as well as every American star with Latin blood like Eva Langoria, J-Lo, Cameron Diez, Jessica Alba and Sofia Vergara, etc., have come out gushing like idiots for Obama. In fact its quite impossible to find any Latin celeb who hasn’t drunk the Obama Koolaid.

-There has always been some confusion (with gringos and expats) about the actual definitions of the words Latino, Mestizo, Ladino, and all the dozens of various Latin American indigenous groups. And since the European/indigenous blood mix is all over the map, just who is and who isn’t “Latino” is often a good question. Allow me to throw a little more mud on the subject…

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-There was a big 7.2 earthquake in Guatemala some days ago (the last big one was in 1976- 36 years ago). When it hit, I was less than 100 miles from the epicenter and on the second floor of a gringo-built structure. So what happened to me and the building itself, with an estimated force of about 6.2 on the richter scale where I stood? Absolutely nothing happened. Sure, it was a 60 second white-knuckle rock and roll but no real damage. Meanwhile very nearby, about 100 died, 2000 homes were destroyed and 20,000 people were displaced. So how do you you explain my dumb gringo luck? Nope, it wasn’t luck at all. Its like the old children’s story of “the 3 little pigs”……. I’ll huff and I’ll puff…

-A few words about high-rise residential and commercial construction in Latin American earthquake zones (practically all of Latin America is in or near one). So, if you live in a 17 floor high-rise in Panama City, Caracas or Cartagena should you be worried?

-What about those Latin American mega 6 to 8 Richter scale earthquakes- the ones we often see on the first world 6 o'clock news? Are they in any way predictable, and how often might they actually strike the average Latin American city? (You’ll be amazed)

-More discussion about GMO’s and their penetration, or lack of it, in Latin America

-Do first world product recall notices filter down to Latin America? (ha ha, don’t make me laugh)

-Did you know that airpane-like black boxes are to be installed in all new cars sold in the USA as of 2015? It will track your speed, the way you drive, your trips, stops and movements for the life of your car. What a revolting development that is; but no such thing will happen in Latin America. (another good reason to move down here).

-Recent car theft statistics in Latin America and suggestions on how you can greatly shift the the odds against theft in your favor.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

The “lag time” effect we talk about is so very helpful to all of us expats when we start or do business in Latin America. But it does have a few downsides(it’s the yin and yang thing). But even then most of the time it’s the Latins who suffer for it, not us.

-A word about Latin university grads (called Licenciados and Licenciadas) and the laughably bogus titles they insist on using. Often when expats hear Latins address their own university grads we squirm, bite our tongues or just want to laugh out loud.  It seems any Latin with a half-ass degree is filled so with self importance he demands the “lower classes”address him by his new title Licenciado all times instead of his given name. (Thankfully gringos don’t play along and are fully exempt from this stupid ritual).

-A few stark examples about so called “educated” Latins and their noticeable lack of worldliness and breadth of knowledge. (I know I’m sounding like a pompous jerk here but after you hear this you’ll change your tune and agree with me on this one)

-Expat Eddie has a great new white-trash style website idea to highlight the seedier side of Latin America that could just go mega-viral. He wants your feedback on this one. You can mail him through me at: Johnny@ExpatWisdom.com

-A true story of what often happens when hapless expats marry into wealthy Latin families (here's a blueprint on how to jump right back into the frying pan again!)

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-A few words on the general reluctance older folks have to becoming permanent expats even when they are absolutely convinced it’s the right (and perhaps the only) move that’ll allow them to live out their golden years in a sane, happy, healthy way, on a low, low budget.

-Did you know that about 10% of long term expats are ex-hippies from the 60’s and 70’s? Most came down ages ago because they saw Big Brother closing in and anticipated the steady decline of the US and citizen's rights before any of us did. Most of them are now well established “soft-core” capitalists with “green and/or new age” small businesses. You’ll find they mostly inhabit certain laid-back corners throughout Latin America, though some are in high volume tourist zones like Costa Rica and Panama; after all, they came down decades ago when CR and Panama were un-gringoized and very cheap (thus many become very wealthy off the later gringo boom). So, have these ex-hippies retained their 60’s style “free love” and drugs attitude? Well kinda, and kinda not…

-Many gringos, new-agers, pseudo and ex-hippies have heard of the famous Shamanic consciousness altering experience using the Amazon basin herbal drug called ahayuaska. Though illegal in both the USA and Europe, ahayuaska is a protected religious rite  in Latin America and perfectly legal there. However, most gringos and expats coming down looking for the experience tend to get hoodwinked- since every taxi driver has a part-time shaman brother-in-law ready to mix a potion of sorts and do a dance for a Franklin or two. So what about the real thing, are the shaman's hoarding the good stuff for themselves?

-Johnny describes his own weekend ahayuaska experience courtesy of actual Colombian Shamans. These strange guys were on a university sanctioned cultural exchange trip throughout Latin America, dispensing their brand of enlightenment direct from the Amazon jungle. (and children, don’t try this at home)

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-The Expat Wisdom seminar team has been invited to present the classroom part of our  Latin America immersion seminar in Spain. Why Europe? Well, while the euro crumbles, Europe goes bankrupt, ”official” unemployment hits 25%, a new great depression looms. People are panicking and looking for a life raft. Not surprisingly, just like you folks are, many astute Europeans are looking to relocate Latin America to preserve their businesses, lifestyles and nesteggs. And of course they asked us Latin American expat experts to come over and bring them up to speed- expat style. Do check out our Spain seminar link on the ExpatWisdom.com homepage.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-More info on GMO (genetically modified foods) penetration in Latin America and what’s been happening lately with the local small and medium sized truck farmers (they supply about 90% of what we get down here in the way of fresh produce)

-10 reasons why Argentina is cracking at the seams. Its really a very nice place to visit, but it’s a bad idea to consider as an expat haven. Its not only first world expensive, its on the fast track to having first world taxes, currency controls and a mess of intrusive Big Brother regs too!

-Another understated advantage to living in Latin America is the real dearth of shrinks and psychologists. Thus its nearly impossible to find any adult or kid in the common Latin working classes who is on any kind of psychotropic medication or another (like Zoloft, Paxil or Ritalin). And thus, due to a heavy ‘lag time effect” in the proliferation of psychiatrists, there is no prescription overkill here in any way, halleluiah! Bottom line: the Latin public is about as prescription  medicated as we were back in the 1970’s (ie; not much)- though with the upper-class gringo wanabees, (the weathy 3%, the I-Pad and helicopter crowd) its a different story. Since the first world is medicated to death, so go the wealthy Latins. They embrace all that twisted psychiatric crapola wholeheartedly.

-The latest first world fad to show up on the parental radar here in Latin America is the “bullying” phenomena- even though bully’s have been around forever and skinny nerds and wimps will always bear the brunt. But since bullying’s been a hot topic in the states for some years, it was inevitable that it would show up down here too. And the "lag time" was only about three years. It took that long for bullying to hit the papers, the media and the local PTA’s.

-Here's a common expat predicament; after realizing that you’re living the good life, your first world relatives (mostly the young single males looking for adventure and some of what you've got ) will come down to hang out, pick your brain, suck up your time and your beer.... yet another reason to keep a low profile!

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-The Expat Wisdom seminar team has been invited to present the classroom part of our  Latin America immersion seminar in Spain. Why Europe? Well, while the euro crumbles, Europe goes bankrupt, ”official” unemployment hits 25%, a new great depression looms. People are panicking and looking for a life raft. Not surprisingly, just like you folks are, many astute Europeans are looking to relocate Latin America to preserve their businesses, lifestyles and nesteggs. And of course they asked us Latin American expat experts to come over and bring them up to speed- expat style. Do check out our Spain seminar link on the ExpatWisdom.com homepage.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

EXPAT FILES SHOW #203; 11-04-2012 (SUNDAY)

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-The Expat Wisdom seminar team has been invited to present the classroom part of our  Latin America "immersion" seminar in Spain. Why Europe? Well, while the euro crumbles, Europe goes bankrupt and ”official” unemployment hits 25%, a new great depression looms. Europeans are panicking and looking for a life raft too. Not surprisingly, just like you folks are, many astute Europeans are looking to relocate Latin America to preserve their businesses, lifestyles and nest eggs. And of course that's why they asked our team of experts to come over and bring them up to speed- expat style. So do check out our Spain seminar link on the ExpatWisdom.com homepage (er, it's in Spanish).

- The true scoop on chlorine and fluoride levels in Latin American public, private and municipal water supplies. Should you be worried? In a word, YES! But expats can easily solve that dilemma, and here’s how……...

- When forced to use a public (or any) bathroom in Latin America (or even in Cleveland), here are some simple tricks that’ll drastically lower your personal e-coli count.

-Now for some delicate (er, indelicate?)bathroom etiquette questions that never get discussed- but really should be!

-As things deteriorate up north, the prepper/survivalist movements grow and grow. So, are expats and gringos prepping down in latin America too? Here’s the story on that.     

-It’s been rumored that you can now safely drink municipal water straight from the tap in a few Latin countries like Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica and Panama. Expats are now reporting that signs and billboards to that effect have been popping up lately in many hotels, airports and tourist areas, etc. My advice- don’t even think about it!

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-A few important words regarding earthquakes and tremors as they relate to expats and general home building, buying and construction

-Expat Eddie has his own earthquake story

-More insider tips on buying existing houses/condos.

-No matter how “first world” a housing unit seems at first, most expats end up doing specific repairs, changes and modifications in order to bring a place up to their own living standards. Here are some common things expats usually end up doing themselves, …

-Cleaning ladies and maids are notorious abusers of first world appliances like dishwashers, microwave ovens and vacuum cleaners. It’s not that they set out to destroy them, its just that they probably never used one before and can’t read and/or understand them. Eventually they do get it, but only after you walk them through it step by step and have a bit of patience. Hint; its best to assume you are starting with a clean slate; that you maid doesn’t know a thing (no matter what she tells you!).

-An update on the spread of GMO crops in Latin America and their promotion by evil entites like the FDA, Monsanto and Dow.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. There may be one or two spots left, so don’t miss out.

-Some distressing news coming from the US Passport division. You’d better act fast and get a new PP (like now) while its still easy or you may not get another chance. There are many reasons why.

Can you answer the questions below, even some of them?

-(1) Name any and all schools, daycare centers and/or developmental programs you attended from birth to age 18, and provide the exact dates of attendance.

(2) List all the homes and places you lived from birth to the present day and provide the exact street addresses and the dates you lived there.

Well, those are just some of the easier questions you will be asked on the new proposed US Passport application forms. And you can’t take a stab at answering them either. That’s not allowed. You must be precise or your passport may not be issued or could be blocked or revoked at any time in the future.

Bottom line; time to get a new Passport before those new proposed Big Brother guidelines kick in.

-We talk a lot about living the expat life ‘off the tourist trail” but what about expats who really do want to live in gringo satuirated places like Panama and Coasta Rica? Many folks think they need to have a certain gringo comradary in a transplanted gringoized environment. If that’s the case, what will the real estate picture like for them? Are there any deals to be had on the tourist trail, or are you stuck with those first world prices you’ve heard so much about?

-Some tricks when buying Latin American real estate that can save you countless thousands, and some real life examples of savvy expats who recently made terrific real estate purchases.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-Some more distressing news coming from the US Passport division. You’d better act fast and get a new PP (like now) while its still easy or you may not get another chance. It's obvious the new app forms were designed to restrict your freedom to travel.

-Can you answer the questions below, even some of them?

(1) Name any and all schools, daycare centers and/or developmental programs you attended from birth to age 18, and provide the exact dates of attendance.

(2) List all the homes and places you lived from birth to the present day and provide the exact street addresses and the dates you lived there.

Well, those are just some of the easier questions you will be asked on the newly proposed US Passport application forms. And you can’t guess or make a decent stab at answering them either. That’s not allowed. You must be precise or your passport may not be issued or could later be blocked or revoked at any time in the future.

Bottom line; time to get a new Passport before the new( impossible to complete) application supersedes the old simple standard form. The new one is in the pipeline so you'd better act fast.

-We talk a lot about living the expat life ‘off the tourist trail” but what about expats who really do prefer to live in gringo saturated places like Panama and Costa Rica? Many would-be expats seem to want,or need, a certain gringo comradary and prefer a transplanted gringoized environment (or think they do). Ok...whatever floats your boat. But what will the real estate picture like for them? Are there any deals on the tourist trail? Or are you forever stuck with those inflated  first world prices you’ve heard so much about?

-Some tricks when buying Latin American real estate that can save you countless thousands. Some real life examples of savvy expats who recently made terrific real estate purchases, and how they did it.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wanabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS SOLD OUT. But you can get on the waiting list. Since people's schedules change and emergencies come up(like with the last seminar), there will probably be one or two spots left as we get nearer the launch date. Don’t miss out.To get on the waiting list just send me an email at TheExpatFiles@gmail.com, or Johnny@ExpatWisdom.com, then visit www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete seminar details.

-MY JANUARY 2013 LATIN AMERICAN SEMINAR IS NOW OPEN FOR REGISTRATION: Folks who are interested in my Expat Wisdom “immersion” seminar should go to www.ExpatWisdom.com to get complete details. Its very close to sold out, but there are a few spots left.

-Thinking about starting a small business in Latin America? One big mistake expat wanabees often make is they use hard and fast first world business assumptions and projections that don’t necessarily apply to doing business in Latin America. Once you get started down here there’s really no need to stress out on first world numbers or profits- and here are some examples why…

-A word to wannabees about another very profitable business idea that might be of interest to those looking for a neat-green, high profit/growth concept.

-Many an expat couple’s dream is to take early retirement and move down to a Latin paradise and start a nice low-stress business- to keep them occupied in their golden years. Unfortunately most couples try to fulfill this dream in gringo tourist areas like Costa Rica and Panama. They find that with all the gringo competition around, often their businesses do little more than break even. But even so, many of the owners keep plugging away it... indefinitely. But strangely enough, many of these expats don’t care if the numbers don’t work because (#1) they’ve made it to their paradise (#2) they’ve got a nest egg already, (#3) they collect a monthly social security or pension check, and (#3)the business gives them something to do!

-Some talk about certain first world franchises and expat small businesses that can target the Latin masses

-Lately, I’ve been getting emails from single ladies who are on the fence about coming down to my next Latin American Seminar. They wonder if it’s safe for a single woman to join the next adventure. So to answer that, here is a letter from one of our last seminar attendees- a single female- with her astute observations on the experience.

-I’ve put together a mixed media program specifically for expats and wannabees called the 'New 5 Flags'. Just head over immediately to ExpatWisdom.com and get all the details. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.expatwisdom.com to schedule a consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one.