The Expat Files: Living in Latin America A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.

June 16, 2019  

#1- Fingerprint Crazy, and the Impossibility of being Anonymous in Colombia:

Excessive fingerprint and ID checking in Colombia is the subject of today’s first “boots on the ground” story.. and it ain’t pretty

 

#2- What in the hell is wrong with Nicaragua?  

 

#3- Last chance to sign up for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#4- Unhappy Gringo Whiners and Complainers:

There’s one (or two) in every crowd. Some people have that personality trait and would complain back home in Cleveland even if they win the lottery (Oh crap Johnny, I have a there hour drive to the capital to pick up that damn ten million dollar check… what a pain in the ass)    

 

#5- Don’t Worry be Happy:

Can Gringos and Expats be truly happy in Latin America? (as the locals appear to be). Could be that’s not the right question. The so-called “pursuit of happiness” goal should really be changed to “the pursuit of "contentment". Why? Because true happiness is so fleeting, while real contentment feels quite good, is eminently achievable, and can last a long long time..  

 

#6- Help! I'm stupid! My Spanish sucks and it just won't get any better:

 

#7- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#9- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

June 14, 2019  

#1- Narcos, gypsies, tramps and priests:

Today we discuss how religious tattoos pepper Latino society and how ignorant “one note” proselytizers “cherry pick” phrases from the Bible

 

#2- If you’re wondering what kind of people sign up for Johnny’s Expat Insider” seminar, here’s the and breakdown..   

 

#3- Last chance to sign up for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#4- Solar power setups in Latin America- PART 8

Today we discuss the absolute need for a PORTABLE Solar power package along with what specs and ratings it should have. Even if you no desire to go all out and “off the grid” with a dozen or so panels on the roof, no matter, everyone needs to have a lightweight but powerful POERABLE unit with suitcase panels you can spread out on the lawn or throw in the back of your car if you’re at home or heading out to a beach, the boonies or well, anywhere.            

 

#5- Social Justice Warriors (SJW’s) in the land of Manana time:

Are they having an impact? Does anyone care? Is anyone listening? Have they even arrived yet?

 

#6- Forever Lost in translation, it works both ways- Spanish to English and vice versa:

While mingling with the Latin masses trying to get your point across, you’ll find many words and phrases truly get lost in translation. Sometimes the result is so funny or ridiculous it’ll crack you up. So then you just laugh and explain the problem right? Not so fast… sometimes it’s better to just let it lie, or you’ll dig yourself in to deeper hole     

 

 

#7- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#9- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

June 9, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #864-SUN, JUNE 09 (06-09-2019): `

 

#1- How to safely move and/or transfer assets to Latin America using cryptocurrencies like bitcoin, litecoin and etherium:

How to locate a trusted network of cryptocurrency experts after arriving at your Plan B destination. Trust is everything.

 

#2- Traveling abroad with your cryptocurrencies:

How to handle crossing borders, airports and the TSA    

 

#3- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#4- Arranging Social Security monthly direct deposits to your new Latin America Bank account sounds easy but…

What can go wrong? (Duh?)

 

#5- The problem with visiting the “good ole” American Embassy:

If you live overseas there will come a time when you need to stop in at the US embassy/consulate. It won’t be fun. It won’t be easy. It’s the subject of today’s “boots on the ground” misadventure.

 

#6- Stumbling into Gringo business ideas and niches:

A great number of gringo and expat business opportunities are born out of sheer irritation, inconvenience and observation. Many times you’ll hear frustrated gringos say, “I don’t get these guys. Why do they insist on doing things the hard way? Why don’t they have this? Why don’t they do that?” Today we highlight another crazy “boots on the ground” story that spawned yet another gringo business idea, or two…

 

#7- Setting up your Solar Energy System in Latin America- PART 7:

Today we discuss the art of buying solar components from local solar supply outfits and installers, versus ordering complete DIY kits and systems directly from US and China.       

 

#8- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#9- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#10- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out:www.thenewexpat.com   

June 7, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #863-FRI, JUNE 07 (06-07-2019):

 

#1- The crimes, lies and frauds of USAID (US Agency for International Development):

The truth about USAID, that ubiquitous, so-called humanitarian aid organization that has been working in 150 foreign countries as a cover for US alphabet agencies. Today you’ll see the extent of that agency's malignant Washington-based tentacles. Is it any wonder USAID is the 2nd largest humanitarian aid agency in existence, funded to the tune of $32 billion a year?

 

#2- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#3- Today a US Air-force lieutenant gives us an email wake-up call with his “boots on the ground” account of the US military bases throughout Latin America:

Our lieutenant was personally stationed for a year in Honduras, Central America on a US base staffed with 500 US soldiers and 500 auxiliary civilian contractors. The base in question is called Soto Cano, and has been mobilized to carry out various “operations” since 1984.

 

#4- What’s up with the thousands of Latino soldiers training IN THE USA on your dime?

Isn’t it odd that practically every Latin military officer I’ve ever met (lieutenant, captain, coronel, general, etc.,) has spent at least some time training at a US military base in the states? How is that possible, what’s up with that?

 

#5- Does Scientology have a footing in Latin America?
Would Tom Cruise and JohnTravolta have a place to park their egos and party?  

 

#6- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#11- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out:www.thenewexpat.com  

June 3, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #862-SUN, JUNE 02 (06-02-2019):

 

#1- More dirt about the underbelly of Mexico that you really need to know- Part 2:

Many gringos and expats hanging and living in ever more gringoized areas in Mexico say they love it. Yes, it may be just swell now, for you but for how long? If Mexico is your Plan B, the question you have to ask is, “What will Mexico’s near future be like? Are things getting better there or worse?” Problem is, the Narco life is but a stone’s throw away from those nice, protected, gringoized Mexican towns. The reality is that the Narcos own Mexico, including the army, the cops and the government. It’s worse than you think. That said, how’s your “Plan C” coming?   

 

#2- English language newspapers and magazines in Latin America :

When in Latin America, anywhere there are gringos and tourists there will be English language newspapers and magazines. However the news stories in the local Spanish language newspapers will be more frank than the news section in the local English language version(s). Meanwhile gringos will get the watered own version in English for the sake of preserving the tourist trade.

 

#3- They say God protects babies, drunks, grandmas and backpackers:

Today’s “boots on the ground” story…

 

#4- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#5- Crimes against Gringos and Expats:

How much of a target are you?

 

#6- Those darn military checkpoints- should you be concerned?

 

#7- Anarchapulco- the good the bad and the ugly:

The truth no one will tell you about Acapulco, and the yearly Anarchapulco event.

 

#8- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

 

#9- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#10- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#11- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

June 3, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #861-FRI, MAY 31 (05-31-2019):

 

#1- There’s an underbelly of Mexico you really need to know about- Part 1

The Narco life is but a stone’s throw away from those nice, protected, gringoized Mexican towns and subdivisions….

 

#2- We all arrive in Latin America with rose colored glasses:

This is what often happens when the lenses fall out…

 

#3- Are you up for another amazing and funny Latin Healthcare story?

There’s nothing like an innocent gringo “boots on the ground” story to give the true picture of real expat life in Latin America… and today we have yet another fun one.  

 

#4- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#5- The most dangerous cities in Latin America:

Here's the breakdown. Are any of them on you plan B list?

 

#7- When Latinos “fat shame” gringos and expats:

“Gringos are simply enormous”, say most all Latinos. We are too oversized they say. On top of that, Latin American taxi drivers have said in print and in interviews that we “enormous gringos” and our overloads of luggage contribute to excessive wear and tear on their taxis…

 

#8- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

 

#9- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#10- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#11- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

 

May 26, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #860-SUN, MAY 26 (05-26-2019):

 

#1- Expat Eddie resurfaces:

“Boots on the ground in Colombia” with Expat Eddie.

#2- Ever wonder which are the best car brands and models for gringos and expats.

Driving in Latin America can be a wicked and testy experience. But we do have to get around- so most of us will buy some kind of car or vehicle and join in the madness. But which cars fare best for us? You’ll find most all cars and models are available in Latin America, though some are definitely NOT suited for the task. Today we nail that subject…

#3- Are you thinking about living in "big-city" Latin America?

Today we discuss what every gringo and expat needs to know about living the hi-rise residential tower life.

#4- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

My week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. The early-bird discounts are in effect till June 1st. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

#5- How certain gringos bend the rules (what rules?) to supercharge their “Gringo Advantage“:

Today this theme is explored with two new "boots on the ground" adventures.  
*Note that certain of these actions are not recommended for the faint of heart

#6- Buying property in Colombia- Part 2

#7- Buying a condo or apartment in a residential tower:
A detailed look at the process 

The pros and con of buying into a new modern tower versus buying a unit in an old, stately Spanish colonial building.

#8- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

#9- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

#10- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#11- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

May 24, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #859-FRI, MAY 24 (05-24-2019):

 

#1- The art of standing in line:

They say that we sleep 1/3 of our lives away but what’s less well known is how many Latinos spend a huge amount of their day killing time while standing in various lines. It’s a fact that there are so many lines (colas) in Latin America (most all are at or near govt buildings and banks) that there are hundreds of men and women who have full-time jobs as “line standers”.     

 

#2- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. The early-bird discounts are in effect. Just go to: www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#3- Today we explain the 3 ways of getting a Latin American Driver’s License:

This can only happen in Latin America.

 

#4- New Mexican border shakedown rules are in effect for vehicles leaving the US and entering Mexico, and you’re not gonna like them.

 

#5- Uber motorcycles? Are they for real?

Yes, UberMotos on your Uber App are starting to show up in big Latin cities, and they are dirt cheap too. Should you use them? Well, if you don’t mind a few inconveniences- like handing your life over to a battle scarred, crazy-ass road warrior driver you’ve never met before..  

 

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

 

#7- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#9- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

 
 
May 20, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #858-SUN, MAY 19 (05-19-2019):

 

#1- Medellin and the rapid Gringoization of Colombia:

If you have Medellin in mind as your plan B..  you’ll pay first world prices in the gringoized and most desirable neighborhood called Poblado. So then where can you live where it’s reasonably cheap and nice? Listen and find out.

 

#2- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. The early-bird discounts are in effect. Just go : www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#3- Diminished personal space ion Latino America - will we ever get used to it?

 

#4- Avocados as big as your head. You just won’t believe it!

 

#5 Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

 

#6- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#8 For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com 

May 17, 2019  

#1- Details, details… and lack thereof:

Gringos have their standards, and we expect a good service when we are paying for it. Why is it then, that new green gringos in need some repair work or construction constantly complain about the inherent Latino lack of attention to detail? What’s the answer, can it be fixed? And how is it the Latino labor force so ably and artistically executed all those thousands of fantastically beautiful colonial buildings churches and monuments, but when you hire a worker he can’t paint a straight yellow line on a road or paint bathroom wall without spattering the shower mirror, the light fixtures and the toilet seat? How about cleanup at the end of the job? (insert belly laugh here) It’s all a great source of frustration and hand wringing guaranteed to happen so many times and so constantly that many gringos and expats just come to expect it and eventually throw in the towel. Why, why, why? Well there are some good theories floating around and ways to crack the whip. But with each new job it will up to you to train them up, and sort of reinvent the wheel on a case by case basis...   

#2- By popular request I've been asked to give a short rundown on the blogs, books, websites, shows and podcast I personally listen to...  
 

#3- Sign up is open for Johnny Mueller’s July 2019 “Expat Insider Seminar”:

The week-long event will be in Central America from Saturday, July 6th through Thursday, July 11th. The early-bird discounts are in effect. Just go : www.thenewexpat.com and click on the “seminar” link.

 

#4- The Colombian healthcare system and insurance policies explained:

Today we have yet another ”boots on the ground” hospital/doctor/clinic story as recently experienced by a lone gringo with a medical emergency cause by the ash of a nearby volcanic eruption! (No Sh$%^T!)

 

#5- Speaking of Gringo Vegans in Latin America...

Some comments and observations.

 

#6 How often do Gringos end up in Latin American prisons?

As you may have heard- Latin prisons are horrific and should be avoided at all costs. But what are the odds you yourself could get locked up by sheer bad luck and circumstance? Should you be worried? Today we suss it out with another true life, “boots on the ground” story.

 

#7 Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your exit plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. Check out the free intro video to the course now at www.theexpatfiles.com/academy 

 

#8- For your copy of JOHNNY MUELLER’S- 100 PAGE “LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT” go to the following link:

http://theexpatfiles.com/healthcare/

 

#9- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

#10- For more of Johnny’s reports, comments, adventures, news, surprises the famous “Expat Concierge Service” and more, check out: www.thenewexpat.com   

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