The Expat Files: Living in Latin America A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.

August 21, 2016  
#1- You’ve heard of the phrase “9 meals from anarchy”?
It describes what 1st world people will face soon enough- when the mierda  truly hits the fan up in O’vomitland. Meanwhile here in Latin America, so much ripe fruit literally falls off the trees that the phrase “9 meals from anarchy” seems right out of Disney’s Fantasyland     
 
 #2- Loud, stinky, cheap motorcycles have invaded Latin America. We gringos and expats hate them. However to the Latin masses forced to use rickety, unsafe chicken buses they spell freedom. Just being able to afford one is a huge step up the socioeconomic ladder.  
 
#3- The Latin definition of the Latin “American dream” in their own home country is finally being able to move from a motorcycle to a crappy, rattle-trap car… any car. It’s the next big and mostly unobtainable step up the social ladder. Do note that as silly as it sounds, a guy with any type of junk car at all is a chick magnet to the millions of ladies forced by circumstances to ride those horrible chicken buses
 
#4-Rotten to the core CITI Bank now is in more than 10 Latin countries: Today we have another true "boots on the ground" tale of a happy golucky Latin guy busily working his way up the corporate ladder in that corrupt organization… ( Note, if you tell him or any Latin the truth about CITI they’ll think its you who has gone nuts)
 
#5- When Johnny was clueless gringo- Yes, years ago I was clueless too! I even rode chicken buses. Today we have wild story that revolves around the thoroughly weird but always fascenating chicken-bus set.       
 
 #6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/
Attendance will be very limited so do act now.
00:0000:00
August 19, 2016  


#1- Update on Gringo’s applying for residency in Latin countries: The residency rules and regs are changing rapidly and getting more complicated by the month. Though as of now, Guatemala residency is still the easiest and least expensive option for gringos who are seeking temporary or permanent residency in Latin America. 

#2- Colombia is all the rage with would be expats now –like Costa Rica and Panama were a few years ago: The news all over the blogisphere is Colombia has everything going for it, especially since in the past two years their peso has lost 50% against the dollar. However, today we have emails from Expats with many years of “boots on the ground” business experience in Colombia. They claim the business climate for Expats is horrible- Latin Big Brother and taxes are simply out of control and worse! What up with that?    

#3-Backpackers and hitchhikers: They seem to go hand in hand. Today we have a “clueless” gringa lady backpacking/hitchhiking story.  

#4-These days most places in Latin America have stores that stock practically everything you can get up north: even the idiotic and dangerous stuff aimed at self- absorbed Latin rich kids- like Hoover-boards   

#5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

00:0000:00
August 14, 2016  

#1- Lookism and body part fixations are much more than alive and well in Latin America: starting with the amazingly perfect super-manniqins that can be seen and admired (or hissed at) in virtually all Latin clothing stores.

#2- Transgender restrooms have always been alive well in Latin America- at least with astute gringos. However, it’s a one-sided practice, not frowned upon and rarely commented on at all. Here’s why.. 

#3- First- world Food Trucks are starting to show up in Latin America: food truck junks are being imported from the states and refurbished: they smack of gringolandia and all things first-world so even if the food sucks, the “gringo advantage” coolness effect helps them succeed, not to mention Latins have seen them all over the place on US cable TV, so they’ve got all the free PR in the world.

#4- Why you need to have not just 1, but at least 2 Latin bank accounts: Here’s how many astute expats arrange their finances..

#5- Latin Real Estate bubble update: As the renter’s market becomes more profound and qualified buyers evaporate, clueless Latin realtors admit they are perplexed saying, “I don’t get it. Why aren’t people buying?” As a result, builders are suddenly offering unheard of “cash back” rebate deals on new housing. The same thing is being mirrored with new car sales..

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

00:0000:00
August 12, 2016  
#1- Thank god for fearless maids and gardeners:
A report on varieties of insects, creatures and critters on the property and in the house. The bugs were here first. We’re the interlopers.  
 
#2-Don’t give your dough to organized charities. You feel good for the moment but are just financing the organizer’s lifestyles: The are many ways Expats can give back to the locals and also help the environment in the process. Giving dough to some “do gooder” organization is not one of them. Today we have an excellent example of an Expat doing the right thing..
 
 #3- Why is the 3rd world so… well…. 3rd world?
Thank the IMF, the World Bank, the UN and the USA for almost all that is screwed up politically and economically in Latin America.
 
 #4-Capital Punishment in Latin America: All Latin countries once had the death penalty but in the last 30 years most have repealed the law. Why? Would you believe as a condition for obtaining humanitarian aid and structural loans from the IMF and World Bank(most of which have been skimmed and misused or by lard-ass politicians)? Then right afterward, Latin crime skyrocketed and now the Latin pubic is clamoring once again for the death penalty. So now there’s an ongoing debate and political tug-of-war between the masses andCatholic and Christian groups.  
 
  #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now.
00:0000:00
August 7, 2016  

#1-Recent history indicates that Gringos of two particular professions are ahead of the curve when it comes to arranging their Latin American plan “B”. Can you the professions and why that seems to be the case? 

#2-Have Latin Americans also fallen onto the first-world political correctness trap?
Latins love everything first-world and try to copy our good and bad habits, so why not the PC thing too? Turns out, because Latins have a macho society, things that might seem PC really aren’t. It’s a bit complicated.

#3- What’s the state of science and technology in Latin America?
Yes, Latins have all the first-world advances and gadgets but they create, invent and patent almost nothing. Its hard to believe that Latin America has almost twice the population of the states, but for every Latin patent filed there are 240 filed in the USA. Latins just don’t have a scientific culture. 

#4-Today we hit on some rarely discussed yet quite important secondary reasons why gringos and expats should avoid Mexico as a permanent plan “B” destination

 #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com 

#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

00:0000:00
August 5, 2016  
#1- Spotting Latin American “Gringo wanabees”:
Seems as if every Latin American with a little dough eventually jumps on his own Latin version of the 1st world treadmill. The upper 5% are not looking to have more leisure time or even a calmer lifestyle. Just the opposite. Their quest is all about appearing to be more 1st world hip and affulent than their Latin friends and neighbors. The question is, who cares? While we Gringos and Expats snicker, it’s a serious business to them and other Latins playing the same dumb game.     
 
#2-Are upscale, educated Latins into good health and fitness?
They think they are. But as you’ll see once again, its all about putting on a show and appearing to be as gringo-like and as 1st world as possible
 
 #3- How polluted are Latin American waters compared to yours up the states?
Yes, all Latin waterways are polluted and that’s not good, but after hearing you’ll probably still take Latin America’s water over yours and here’s why..
 
 #4-Today we have the so-called educated Latin’s view of Trump’s famous, proposed border wall: Oddly enough, some smart Latins are seriously calling for such a wall themselves. However not one placed anywhere you might think!
 
  #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now.

00:0000:00
July 31, 2016  
#1- Have you heard of the term 5 at 50? It’s a diabolical big Pharma game plan the public is absolutely clueless about. It means the goal is to have you on 5 prescription drugs by the time you’re 50. Are you on track with that plan? Don’t laugh. Up in the first-world it’s all but come true. Meanwhile in Latin America, its not even a pipe dream.  
 #2-Are you taking prescription meds? Today we discuss some of the remarkably positive secondary heath effects huge numbers of Expats report after have lived for a time in Latin America. Chances are this will happen to you. 
  #3- When customer service “ain’t” customer service: Today we have another “boots on the ground” Expat gringo story that could only happen in Latin America.  
 #4-Today we visit a Latin America Costco and Wallmart:
Did you know Wall-mart is the single largest employer in latin America with over 3000 stores? Even more surprisingly, far from the low-class Walmart reality up in the states, working a grunt job there "south of the border" is considered a very good, even “class” job. Try to ask yourself why…
 
  #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 #6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on January 7th thru January 12th , 2017. To get in the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now.
00:0000:00
July 29, 2016  
Descriptions for THE EXPAT FILES SHOW #580- 07-29-2016 (FRI):
 
#1- Are you a clueless Gringo? The clueless outnumber the smart ones by probably 50 to 1: Why? Because even when clueless ones begin to know the ropes they often take two steps backward simply by hanging with too many of the other clueless gringos:
 
#2-It takes quality time exploring “off the Gringo tourist trail” with real “boots on the ground” (no camping out in 1st world hotels allowed) to realize your “gringo advantage”. You can remain clueless or get off (or somewhat off) the tourist trail... your choice.  
 
#3- Some inside tips and unsaid cautions concerning new car purchases in Latin America
 
#4- If you live in a “gated, guarded” Latin neighborhood, you might want to know in general what your “upscale Latin neighbors will be like:Today we’ll give you some insight on what craziness to expect from them.
 
#5- Why are Latin Public hospitals always in crisis? Yes, they are absolutely medieval, yet studies show they have plenty of funding from local government sources, outside “do gooder” and international agency donors. So then what’s the problem? Today we focus on an actual hospital audit report from an outside agency that says it all..
 
#5-When big time 1st world rock acts tour Latin America:
Today we explain why you just might want to skip the Guns & Roses concert- even if you get free front row seats   
 
 #6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
 #7- Johnny’s next (and maybe final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on January 7th thru January 12th , 2017. To get in the Early-bird discount list just email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now.
00:0000:00
July 25, 2016  
Descriptions for THE ExPat Files Show #579
 
#1 Did you know experts claim the first (or second) most beautiful lake in the world is in Central America? However, only about 1 in 10000 Americans have ever even seen or heard of it. Today we'll go there and check it out.. 
 
#2- No OSHA’s or EPA’s exist in Latin America. Though Latin Governments have lazy, blundering, useless staffs that may give lip service to those first world concepts,  in reality they are beyond toothless. In many ways that can be a good thing. But then what happens when Gringos and Expats spot obvious health and safety violations up front and personal? Today we have another true story that will make you both laugh and cringe.
 
#3- Indigenous people are 99% Christian but they practice it with a strange twist. Today we'll visit the drinking, smoking, gambling, womanizing bad boy saint, Maximon. He’s the undisputed patron of misdeeds, bad habits and poor lifestyle choices… and you’ll soon find out why.
#4-A few words about Air BnB’s in Latin America and the future of the hospitality business
 
 #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
#6- Johnny’s next “Latin Insider, Plan ‘B’ Seminar” will be in early January, 2017 . If you want to get on the Earlybird Discount list send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com
00:0000:00
July 22, 2016  

Descriptions for TheExPat Files Show #578

#1- Your plan “B” involves moving your assets and 401ks to untouchable locations: here are a few tips

#2- Building/Construction and environmental impact studies: Latin countries do require them on certain large and commercial projects. So if you build, what should you expect- besides a few bribes here and there?  

#3- A few harsh words about how people and businesses pollute in Latin America:

#4-Gringo business ideas can come out of the strangest places: today we have some examples 

#5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com 

#6- Johnny’s next “Latin Insider, Plan ‘B’ Seminar” will be in early January, 2017 . If you wish to get on the Earlybird Discount list send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com 

00:0000:00

- Older Posts »