The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

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A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.

Episodes

Friday Mar 18, 2016

Expat Files - 03.18.16

Friday Mar 18, 2016

-What if you get into a car accident or hit a pedestrian in Latin America? What to do? You call the car insurance company and lawyer and wait for help, right? Sure, that’s the right thing to do, however almost all lawyers, professionals, upscale Latins and even “Driver’s Ed” instructors are advising their friends, clients and students to do something much different all depending depending on the circumstances. Of course that special advice will always be “off the record”.

-When Gringo “good Samaritan” efforts backfire:

-Another reason Latins think Gringos are a bit crazy:

Did you know Latins have definite opinions about “OUR” choices in the Latin mating, dating and marriage game? Down here in Latin America they locals are especially surprised, even perplexed when they occasionally see some tall, strapping gringo or attractive gringa dating a person “THEY” feel culturally or economically superior to. For example: I’ve heard the occasional negative comments from slightly irritated Latins who see Gringos/Gingas dating short, dark indigenous people (instead of the traditional sexy Latin/Latina stereotypes). Yes, average Latins are often very classist and racist- no, not against us Gringos and Gringas but against their own countrymen and women.

Gringos, Latins and lotteries:

Yes there are dozens of types of lotteries in Latin America. Some are announced in the papers, some on TV and there’s also the traditional paper ticket types bought on the street. Still other lotteries come as annoying text messages on cell phones. Now, there’s one special lottery all Latins would love to win, but as for gringos hitting that jackpot… most of us would reject the prize in a heartbeat. You’ll never guess what lottery I’m referring to…

-Visit me Johnny (and Expat super-blogger John Galt) at our new joint website www.TheNewExpat.com . It’s where you’ll get real “boots on the ground” info, experienced expat blogs and reports. It’s a work in progress so please be patient. We’re continually improving and expanding the format.

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

At www.TheNewExpat.com we have a new feature: a blog written by a very trusted Latin lawyer (with great credentials). He will be blogging regularly from Central America touching on everything you want to know about Latin Legal issues such as residency, passports, contracts, S.A. corporations, banking, Trusts, courts, lawsuits, and much more. He’ll stress all manner of Latin Legal issues as they pertain to Expats. Better yet, you’ll be able to contact him and email your own legal questions too…

CONSULT WITH JOHNNY- SCHEDULE A CELL OR SKYPE CALL: Would you like a 1 on 1 personal Skype or phone consult with me? Set up a time when we can talk and sort out your own specific Latin American plans. Just put the word “CONSULT” in the subject line and send a short list of your questions and talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

Sunday Mar 13, 2016

Expat Files - 03.13.16

Sunday Mar 13, 2016

-Today we discuss cases where Gringos have been tapped for extortion and kidnapping.

It’s not a matter of bad luck but more a matter of location, location, location.

-“HOOTERS” closes its doors in El Salvador… you’ll never guess why

-What places in Mexico, South America and Central America are most safe for gringos and expats wishing to start up a “brick and mortar” business?

-Tips on how to scout out the best locations for your “brick and mortar” business.

-Going “off the grid” in Latin America. More and more gringos and expats are doing it!

-It can be difficult for gringos and expats to blend in and be accepted by the locals. But when it does happen, sometimes it can be downright unsettling… maybe even frightening.

-The amazing “pizza test” and the extent of Latin classism at every level

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Friday Mar 11, 2016

Expat Files - 03.11.16

Friday Mar 11, 2016

-Gringos can have business problems and difficulties in Latin America:

Today we have Captain Mango describing the amazingly complex, idiotic hoops and hurdles he has had to maneuver through in order to start and maintain his small fleet of taxis.

-It’s true that while a small percentage of Latin businesses (like the taxi business and govt contractors) are plagued with mindless over-regulation and bureaucratic BS. Surprisingly enough, Latin governments do leave the vast majority of other small businesses almost completely alone.

It seems once one has done the routine chicken-without-a-head runaround in order to obtain the proper permits (which can take about a month), the government pinheads lay off and never bother your business again.

-Today we have yet more examples of poor maintenance and lack of detail inherent in the Latin workforce. However, if you want to start a business and need to hire help don’t despair. Latins are dedicated, smart and hard-working. You only need to train and instruct them correctly and the job performance will be up to anyone’s standards

-And of course I will digress as usual…….

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Sunday Mar 06, 2016

Expat Files - 03.06.16

Sunday Mar 06, 2016

-Driving the famous Pan America Highway:

For all listeners who may be contemplating driving a vehicle from the States or Canada to Latin America, today we have a very informative and illustrative description of such a recent trip. This report comes from a stateside listener who made the entire 3000 mile journey just a few months ago: from California to Panama City by way of the Pan American Highway. You might have to hold on to your seat for this one…

-The skinny on pirated gasoline in Latin America:

Yes, it’s all over the place, at up to a 50 cent a gallon less than at the legit “gasolineras”. Is it diluted, altered, or the real McCoy? Where does it come from? The cops buy it all the time… does that mean you should give it a try?

-Breaking news:

There’s a big political and social scandal unfolding in Bolivia involving sex, government back door contracts and Evo Morales. Could politicians in the US get away with that stuff? No problem… just ask Bill and Hillary.

-Of course I will digress as usual…….

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Friday Mar 04, 2016

Expat Files - 03.04.16

Friday Mar 04, 2016

-Today we have more emails from Canadian listeners. First, the subject is a professional couple hoping to transfer some of their first-world counseling and therapeutic skills down to Latin America. Their goal/wish is to continue working in a similar capacity once they arrive and get settled. So we’ll discuss the pros, cons, the options, availability and realities of coming down with high-level first-world skill sets. However it will be a difficult sell in a macho culture unaccustomed to modern healthcare therapies and a society that doesn’t much value one-on-one personal counseling- unless it comes from the neighborhood priest or pastor!

Again, it’s all about the lag-time effect…

-We also have a different kind of email from a well-traveled gringo an his wife who are looking to become permanent expats soon. I this case he and his wife’s concerns revolve around their handicapped daughter and the constant daily care, special training and therapy she will probably need for life. However, after some quality “boots on the ground” off the gringo tourists trail they have found some good solutions so far as they continue to make their exit plans and put the pieces together.

-And of course I expect we will digress as usual…….

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Sunday Feb 28, 2016

Expat Files – 02.28.16

Sunday Feb 28, 2016

- Do I get occasional hate mail and complaints directed at myself or the Expat Files show? Off course, but I have pretty thick skin. On that note, today we have just such an email of complaint from a Canadian listener. Since Canadians are generally nicer and more civil than us guys from Chicago (or Cleveland), this listener is kind and gentle about his complaints and even throws in a backhanded compliment or two. Oh but don’t worry, in a future show I’ll read a few of the more evil email complaints. I get those too…

-Today we have a discussion about gringos and their use and abuse of the Spanish language. You’ll not hear this stuff any where else.

-Early on (or in due time) nearly every Expat Gringo or Gringa has a bad day or two: mostly when dealing with Latin bureaucracy, lousy customer service or Latin tardiness that leads to unintended consequences. True,Gringos do rage and blow up in public. I’ve done it myself. However, there are laid back Expats who don’t necessarily explode in frustration but merely count to 10or 20 (or 200) and fume and seethe internally. Today we have a first-hand story of a long-term Expat’s full-blown public blowup.

-Supposed USA real-estate “gurus” and their seminars are rolling through in Latin America as we speak. Talk about slick! They’re selling off condos in Miami to upscale Latins who are dying to have bragging rights in what they consider the northern Latin "Mecca”. Yup, just 10% down- and buyers also get the huge side benefit of a special US immigration “investors’ visa and automatic permanent residency for the buyer (and family) along with the deal. Its stark proof that Latins don’t do their housing homework and that they’ve never had a US housing market history lesson.

-Visit me Johnny (and Expat super-blogger John Galt)at our new joint website www.TheNewExpat.com . It’s where you’ll get real “boots on the ground” info,experienced expat blogs and reports. It’s a work in progress so please be patient. We’re continually improving and expanding the format.

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files"YouTube channel -and become a subscriber(it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

At www.TheNewExpat.com we have a new feature: a blog written by a very trusted Latin lawyer (with great credentials). He will be blogging regularly from Central America touching on everything you want to know about Latin Legal issues such as residency, passports, contracts, S.A.corporations, banking, Trusts, courts, lawsuits, and much more. He’ll stress all manner of Latin Legal issues as they pertain to Expats. Better yet, you’ll be able to contact him and email your own legal questions too…

CONSULT WITH JOHNNY- SCHEDULE A CELL OR SKYPE CALL: Would you like a 1 on 1 personal Skype or phone consult with me? Setup a time when we can talk and sort out your own specific Latin American plans.Just put the word “CONSULT” in the subject line and send a short list of your questions and talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

Friday Feb 26, 2016

Expat Files – 02.26.16

Friday Feb 26, 2016

- Many 1^st World Gringos and Expats come down to Latin America with a shortage of cash and resources, and some with perhaps with just enough dough to live for a period of 6 months to a year or so. One of the quickest and easiest job options for them is an English teaching job. In that area there are four good and sure options to choose from. That said, today we’ll answer one of the many emails that specifically addresses the subject of teaching English in Latin America…

-After a year or so on the job, about half the Gringo English teachers in Latin American private k-12 schools end up finding a niche that turns into a nice business opportunity. On the other hand, half of the Gringo English teachers stay on the job for years with no desire to leave. So even if they stumble on a great business idea or two or three (and most eventually do), they still don’t bother to chase the carrot. Why? Because in Latin America teachers (especially Gringo teachers) are respected and admired by both parents and kids alike (what a unique concept!) Today we provide some stories and proof of concept…

-You certainly know, and are probably quite irritated, about the great illegal migration of uneducated, unwashed masses from Latin America- coming to a neighborhood near you. Still, everyone wonders how dirt poor people can afford to pay the $2000 to $10000 it costs to hire a “coyote” to get them across safely. People rightly ask, if they can scrape together that kind of dough why are they in such a hurry to leave? The fact is in the states today, half of the average adult population can’t even scrape together $500 in cash!

Today we’ll get to see exactly how poor Latins gather up the necessary dough. You’ll certainly be surprised…

-Visit me Johnny (and Expat super-blogger John Galt) at our new joint website www.TheNewExpat.com . Its where you’ll get real “boots on the ground” info, experienced expat blogs and reports. It’s a work in progress so please be patient. We’re continually improving and expanding the format.

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Sunday Feb 21, 2016

Expat Files – 02.21.16

Sunday Feb 21, 2016

- By now you’ve heard from many sources that Latin Americans are some of the happiest people in the world. But do you know which of the 20 Latin countries are rated lowest on that list? They’re still happy campers but just less so…

Today we’ll talk about the three Latin countries whose people aren’t quite as happy or carefree as the others. Can you guess these three countries?

-Although we can’t get exact figures, it’s really true that perhaps 95% of Latins would love to migrate to the states. Even when presented with the facts, Latins firmly believe the hype and propaganda (the golden land of opportunity and plenty bit). Now to take the hype one step further, it seems even those immensely popular Latin soap opera “tele-novellas” are getting into the act. Every weeknight night on TV some soap or other presents a highly improbable and vapid tale of some poor Latin unfortunate slipping in to the states illegally and finding the so called “American dream”. It’s really an unintentional(?) and powerful migratory marketing promotion in disguise.

-A discussion on health clubs and muscle-bound Latin fitness fanatics. Every country has them, and Latin America is no exception.

-When doing business in Latin America, what are the best ways to make dependable and cheap phone calls back to the states? Here’s the scoop…

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber (it’s free!)

-NEWS FLASH!

Friday Feb 19, 2016

Expat Files – 02.19.16

Friday Feb 19, 2016

Latin Americans and “customer service”:

Latin businesses have customer service desks, departments and more than ample personnel manning them. Workers and customer service reps will nearly always attend you with sincerity and a smile. However there is a huge “lag time” difference between what kind of help and final results you might get down here and the sort of resolutions you come to expect to when dealing with customer service problems up in the states.

The question is: What would you prefer?... #1-Happy smiley Latin attendants who are truly sorry about your complaints but never seem to solve problems to your satisfaction… or #2-Would you rather gets results and deal with a cranky, snippy, stateside person who absolutely hates his/her job?

-Captain Mango chimes in on GMO’s and BT crops in Latin America: Having been an unwitting (or witting?) BT insecticide spreader in his past life, Captain Mango gives all of us who are trying to be non-GMO “Organic” eaters a bit of toxic info to chew on…

-Whether its Gringos trying to learn Spanish in the states, or Latins trying to learn English in Latin America, there are a new breed of net-based corporate hucksters laying out juicy bait and promises trying to hook you and your dough.

Sunday Feb 14, 2016

Expat Files – 02.14.16

Sunday Feb 14, 2016

- Today we have a “Gringo’s eye view” up front and personal: a boots on the ground walk through not one but two dirty, filthy, amazingly chaotic, Latin government immigration offices: one in a huge city of 2 million plus people and one in a very small town of about 10,000 population.

Note: There are huge differences (you’ll see).

You’ll see just how average Latin people manage to maneuver their way through the amazingly inefficient and mind-numbing maze of a bureaucracy without the aid of lawyers or outside support. That’s why even simple procedures can take days and repeated return trips.

You’ll see how it seems an almost impossible task for even a Spanish speaking native to get anything accomplished yet they somehow eventually slog on through and get it done. Why? Simply because 95% of Latins have much, much, much more time than money.

As for me, every time I see a long stagnant line outside of a government building it makes me think of that room full of monkeys on typewriters, who- given an infinite amount of time- can eventually type out the bible.

-GMO’s and BT crops in Latin America: yes they’ve been legalized in certain Latin Countries and here’s the breakdown…

-Be sure to check out my "Expat Files" YouTube channel -and become a subscriber

-NEWS FLASH!