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A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.
Episodes
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #890 SUN, SEPT 22 (09-22-2019):
#1- English Language Radio Stations and Gringo Disc Jockeys in Latin America:
Since the 1990’s, all of the 20 or so big Latin American media markets have had at least one daily radio program hosted by a real live gringo broadcasting in English. Radio PR men and marketers have realized there are enough gringos, expats, teachers, tourists embassy workers and gringo wannabees in markets centered around big cities like Mexico City, Panama City, Bogota, Guatemala City, Tegucigalpa, etc., that it makes sense to have token gringo DJ. Latino advertisers love that demographic because English speakers always have more purchasing power then average Spanish speaking radio listeners. Today you’ll hear the untold story..
#2- Gringos just hate Reggaton Music. So what’s wrong with it?
In Latin America you hear reggaton’s grinding, monotonous beat everywhere. It’s the soundtrack of youth in Latin America. But the truth is 99% of gringos and expats cannot stomach it. Yes, it does absolutely suck. However, if you live or visit Latin America you get bombarded by radios, TV’s, smart devices, malls or even oozing from the walls. Solution? You either ignore it, block it out, or get used to it. But you don’t have to like it.
#3- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#4- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Monday Sep 23, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #889 FRI, SEPT 20 (09-20-2019): `
#1- The three faces of the word ”Gringo”:
DYK the word gringo can be either an insult, a term of endearment or basically neutral, depending on its use and inflection..
#2-What about the notorious “N” Word?
We all know the “N” Word is sprinkled liberally in those mindless Rap and Hip Hop songs as well as in every street-wise Hollywood movie, all of which eventually end up in the theatres and on cable in Latin America. But how does the infamous “N” word get translated into Spanish? Can it be translated? Do Latinos get the point, the subtle or hard meanings? Find out in today’s first boots-on-the ground story.
#3- A Gringo’s Guide to Police Extortion and Bribes:
Today’s second boots-on-the-ground story
#4- There is nothing PC (Politically Correct) about Latin America so get used to it:
#5- The weirdest kind of insurance policy:
How 2 bucks worth of Coca-Cola and a bag of Cheetos can occasinally save your ass…
#6- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Sunday Sep 15, 2019
Sunday Sep 15, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #888 SUN, SEPT 15 (09-15-2019): `
#1- Why Smart People Can’t Learn Spanish:
How long does it take for the average Gringo/Expat to learn Spanish?Oddly enough, the ability to learn Spanish does not seem to be related to IQ. There are many smart and creative long-time expats with very bad Spanish…
#2-How NOT to get nailed for customs and immigration duties and taxes on stuff you bring down to your new Latin country:
Today we’ve got some great packing tips to avoid that scenario and save you a lot of grief and dough..
#3- Some Eggspert advice concerning “driveway chickens” and their eggs, versus store bought so-called “free range” chickens and eggs.
There is a difference…
#4- Small towns in Latin America- are they safe?
As a rule, most Latin towns under 50,000 population are quite safe, but there are some notable exceptions. Today the dope on the how, where and why…
#5- The “Apostilling” facts:
What you need to know about “Apostilling” documents for residency. You’ll need to have that done in advance for the immigration slugs in your chosen Latin Country
#6- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Friday Sep 13, 2019
Friday Sep 13, 2019
#1- Costa Rica- A Con Man’s Paradise:
A collection of unbelievable “boots on the ground” Costa Rican rip off stories. Don’t let this happen to you!
#2- Some Gringos and Expats will make it a point to ditch their boring past and completely re-invent a more exciting version of themselves:
Everybody wants to be a “somebody” and you’d be surprised how many Expat artists, writers, adventures and entrepreneurs are really just damn good bullshitters who, in a past life, were just ordinary mundane plumbers, firemen and meter readers. Unlike up in the states, when one is down in Latin America, pretenses can be perpetuated indefinitely and even have a life of their own.
#3- What you need to know about Latin American adoption agency scams and rip offs:
#4- Argentina is falling apart at the seams (I told you so!):
Yes that bloated, corrupt Argentine government is at it again, bankrupt and ready to default on their sovereign debt. Thus, they have instituted currency controls and that’s always the beginning of the end. So how bad is it? Well, one now must ask for written permission from one’s own bank and the government to withdraw YOUR OWN money from your own US dollar account. This will not end well... (did I say I told you so?)
#5- The gentle art of car theft in Latin America:
What you need to know to protect yourself so it doesn’t happen to you!
#6- Three simple tips on how to thwart ID theft in Latin America and elsewhere:
#7- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Sunday Sep 08, 2019
Sunday Sep 08, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #886 SUN, SEPT 08 (09-08-2019): `
#1- Everything you wanted to know about Electric cars and the availability of EV charging stations in Latin America
#2- Latin country Illiteracy and the strange case of “The Comic Book Cure”:
#3- The truth about Child Labor and truancy in Latin America:
#4- Can you learning fluent Spanish in 2 Months?
I know one smart Gringo who did just that. He accomplished that feat from Illinois without ever stepping foot in Latin America or taking an online course or having a Spanish speaking girlfriend or even attending a single Spanish class. It is possible to do and we’ve got a “boots on the ground” story today to prove it…
#5- Bitcoin, cryptocurrencies and your “Plan B”:
How Bitcoin saved one gringo’s life and taught him how the twisted world “really” works. Its today’s second “boots on the ground” story…
#6- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Friday Sep 06, 2019
Friday Sep 06, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #885 FRI, SEPT 06 (09-06-2019): `
#1- It seems every month Latin governments are creating new hoops to jump through and inventing new obstacles for gringos and expats on the way to obtaining residency:
#2- Everything you wanted to know about the infamous FBI “good conduct report”(aka: “Rap Sheet”):
You’ll need one when applying for most Latin Country residency. Yup even Guatemala is requiring one now (they were the last holdout)
#3- Is there anything wrong with having a European 2nd Passport and starting a “Plan B” in Europe rather than in Latin America?
#3- Dialing “911” in Latin America:
Yes, all Latin countries have a similar emergency dial up service these days. The question is, what is the ambulance response time? Or could it be that ambulances are on “manana” time too? Well, knowing how Latin Cops respond to police calls you wonder (and hope) if Ambulance will show up at all. Today we have the dope on the subject.
#4- Another round of Clueless Gringo stories sure to scare the poop out of you:
#5- TSA Airport Shakedowns:
Is there any limit to what those rubber-gloved lard-asses can get away with once they’ve singled you out for a more “complete” and “invasive” inspection? Today we have three very interesting boots-on-the-ground stories that will make you laugh… and cry
#7- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Sunday Sep 01, 2019
Sunday Sep 01, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #884 SUN, SEPT 01 (09-01-2019): `
#1- Beware of Sharks and other Gringo-eating creatures with big teeth:
#2- Latina Ladies and those amazing Hour-Glass Figures- PART 2:
#3- The Trouble with Backpackers:
#4- Another round of Clueless Gringo stories sure to scare the poop out of you:
#5- EMP dangers and 5-G in Latin America:
The consensus is in. 5-G is coming to Latin America. It’s inevitable and a real health hazard. So today we discuss how to protect yourself as they roll it out.
#6- What do you mean, I have to “Apostille” my documents to apply fo Latin Residency?
What the heck is an “Apostille anyway? Does it have to do with the 12 Apostles or something? Why I ain’t even Catholic!
#7- Johnny’s week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America is scheduled for Friday, Jan 11th through Thursday Jan 16th, 2020.
To get on the early-bird sign up list, email theexpatfiles@gmail.com.
Join me on my January 2020 adventure and get a 2 to 5 year head start on your own “Plan B” (providing the world doesn’t implode by then!)
#8- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Friday Aug 30, 2019
Friday Aug 30, 2019
#1- The truth about Poop-hole Countries in Latin America (and elsewhere):
It turns out the depth and breathe and actual skankyness of such places can be quite subjective, and very much in the eye of the beholder..
#2- So You Have a House or Condo in Latin America to rent out?
Today we discuss maintenance, marketing, upkeep and selecting a property manager.
#3-Some Tips for the Ages:
Gringos, Expats and Tourists please shut up and leave your American politics at home.. PLEASE.
Today we touch on this delicate issue as well as other sage advice concerning your behavior in Latin America
#4- The Trump Effect in Latin America:
Is there one?
#5- Listeners know Johnny discourages people from moving to Mexico but why?
We all know its cheap and Cancun is nice..
Meanwhile, entire Mexican local city police forces are continuously being decommissioned, arrested and jailed for mass corruption.
That’s interesting, but does that have to do with anything?
#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled Friday, Jan 11 through Thursday Jan 16, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Monday Aug 26, 2019
Monday Aug 26, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #882 SUN, AUG 25 (08-25-2019): `
#1- The truth about English Language, tourist targeted, newspapers, magazines and other rags:
Every tourist and gringoized area has a few of them and they’re usually weeklies or monthlies and are almost always free. But as they say… nothin’ is for nuthin’ and you get what you pay for (same with this show..Ha!)
#2- Power outages in Latin America and why you really need a “PORTABLE” SOLAR POWER UNIT:
Today we discuss my recommendations and tips regarding portable solar power units. We’ll talk about my personal picks for all-in-one packages that will power up your basics (TV, Smartphones, computer, refrigerator lights) when there’s a momentary outage or the grid is down. This really good advice is not just for gringos and expats living in Latin America either. Soon enough poop will be getting pretty hairy up in Cleveland too!
#3- The state of Utility Companies in Latin America:
Private versus Public utility ownership- why gringos and expats vastly prefer private ownership while the locals greatly prefer public (government slug ) ownership
#4- Rating the Toilets of the World (someone had to do it):
Yes, it’s a report whose time has come, so today without further adoo.. doo, we discuss the good, bad and the ugly in the commode department. Nope there are no “great” porcelain thrones out there, but there are quite a few ecofriendly dual-flush jobs, to which a sane person can only exclaim… Jesus help us! … or maybe just plain WTF!
#5- The real reasons Ecuador threw Julian Assange under the bus:
What you have not been told by the Lame-stream Media and why, after listening to this screed, it’s doubtful you’ll ever want to execute your Plan B in Ecuador.
#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled for early January, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
Friday Aug 23, 2019
Friday Aug 23, 2019
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #881 FRI, AUG 23 (08-23-2019):
#1- When Gringo Business Ideas Flop:
The more boots-on-the-ground experience, the more functional business ideas will pop into your head. The optimal word is “functional”. Yet there can still be problems. Sometimes gringos and expats have very very good business ideas that just happen to be a year or two ahead of their time and thus don’t pan out. Today we hammer on that subject..
#3- Thoughts in the ominous arrival of 5G in Latin America:
#4- For Coffee Lovers Only:
Today we have some Latin American Coffee culture tips you will really appreciate
#5- One of Latin America’s biggest (legal) growth industries is dental braces for Latinas.
Dentists can barely keep up with the rush and for two reasons: the first is function of course- to fix crooked teeth. Secondly, for the kid and family to demonstrate that the family is upwardly mobile, socially and economically.
#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled for early January, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then)
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.