The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Expat Files

-The dirt on LA beggars, bums, vagrants and street performers. They’re on street corners in all the big cites (but almost nonexistent in small LA towns). So how do you handle the throng when they rush your car? After all, you’re a real live 1^st Worlder with deep pockets and an obvious soft touch. -Some valuable tips on how, when and where to hand out your spare change to the needy (if you’re so inclined). -Describing the LA retirement safety net for locals. Believe it or not, most LA countries they do have rudimentary Social Security systems. They actually exist, but in name only, and the payouts run from $25 to $100 a month. But they’re horribly managed and chronically looted every time a new administration comes into power (and those pathetic little checks occasionally bounce).

The Expat Files

-The real truth on product pirating; it’s a lot like the drug trade, it’ll never stop and 9 out of 10 Latins don’t care either way or believe there’s anything wrong with it. And though legit LA retailers say they abhor it, nearly all of them continue to buy and download pirated DVD’s and other stuff for their own personal use! -The truth about the war on drugs from this side of the battle south of the boarder, and how billions in tax dollars (your tax dollars) sent every year to equip and train forces down here actually do more harm than good (no matter how the US State department or DEA spin it). -At a popular expat bar, Expat Eddie befriends a tipsy DEA helicopter pilot (with loose lips) who’s working in LA on contract to spray coca and marijuana fields. This is one story you’ll never hear on FOX or CNN! -The laws of supply and demand in the real world - Expat Eddie (and the helicopter pilot) go head to head on the cost and availability of street drugs down here versus getting them in the 1^st World, -How local Latins gouge tourists looking for party drugs (but tourists don’t complain since they’re still 80% cheaper, and at least powerful, as the best street stuff back home).

The Expat Files

-The continuing misadventures of Expat Eddie. More on how a completely unexceptional guy like him turned $2000 into a million plus by just applying some basic 1st World standards to 3rd world businesses (and by not reinventing the wheel)

-Expat Eddie’s first “embassy party” and the powerful Banana Republic Air Force general that took a shine to him (and the ensuing fallout of that affair)

-A new twist on LA hooker business and big city LA nightclubs; how certain officials mix business with pleasure

- A QUIZ;

Q: What should you do when you find out your nice, rich, new neighbor next door happens to be a big time criminal?

A: Invite him to a Sunday barbecue of course! (this is Latin America after all)

The Expat Files

- How to prepare for the Spanish speaking world before you dive in

-Dealing with how the locals speak. Unraveling some very common slang terms. You can be certain the locals won’t speak the kind of Spanish you were taught at night school (or high school)

-Having that “taah da!” moment: when your brain finally begins to translate things in your head automatically. Suddenly listening to people talk is no longer hard work and there’s no more mental fatigue…taah da!

-When local and national disasters strike, Latins don’t panic or whine to the government. When a road washes out or a bridge collapses local civilians just call a few neighbors, get a few shovels and picks and get to work on it themselves. Because they know the government won’t get on it for days (unless it’s impeding some blowhard bureaucrat’s daily drive home)

The Expat Files

The lowdown on the three LA countries that are trying like mad to tax and spend their way into 1^st world status; Argentina Costa Rica and Chile

How the Costa Rican traffic authority has instituted an extremely lucrative means of gouging drivers, especially directed at tourist drivers. The ins and outs of LA property taxes, and the specific heavy handed case of Chile. How Chile soaks its property owners, 1^st world style; and many more reasons why Chile is not a good bet for those frugal Expats who want to get away from big brother and live the simple life.

The Expat Files

More on the cost of living– how to judge the cost of living in an LA city or country by examining its major daily newspapers Newspapers are not dying in LA like they are up in the 1^st World. They’re alive and well but they pay their workers peanuts. Even full time reporters with advanced college degrees often live with their moms and dads for years since the average reporter makes about $3-400 a month Finding a Spanish translator Part 2. What about those amazing pocket translators and hi-tech voice recognition devices? Do those things really work? If so, then why hire a flesh-and-blood translator for a hundred a week (unless she’s Miss Venezuela) when you can get it all translated by Android app? We’ll tell you why. A word about Google translate, a free service that’s free, very simple to use, and really handy. Be a junk gold and silver broker in LA; another great Expat business opportunity explained in detail and that involves almost no startup costs but has 1^st World monetary rewards written all over it

The Expat Files

What about Belize? They speak English there, so it must be a good pick for Expats, right? Well, it’s not my cup of tea but …

The obvious racism in Costa Rica that tourists never see (and its deep, deep, roots).

Racism and prejudice on steroids, that’s a fact of life in LA and practically no one does a thing about it. But what about 1^st World Black Expats or persons of color (other than tourists) who decide to come down long term or permanently? Do they still have that all important “Gringo Advantage” we talk so much about… or not?

Beauty pageants in LA; one of the four national pastimes (the others being soccer, tax evasion, and software/DVD/clothing pirating) and how racism rears its ugly head even among beauty queens The further misadventures of Expat Eddie and his runway model girlfriend (i.e., how did a crazy guy like him ever end up with a down-to-earth beauty like her?)

The Expat Files

Those scary LA murder and crime stats, how crime statistics mislead, and how to really compare them to crime in the US and the rest of the 1^st World. LA crime statistics reported in the 1st World media don’t even begin to tell the real story and are just downright confusing. Here’s the real dirt crime and some specific LA examples.

What cleaning ladies and gardeners are saying about Expats behind their backs.

Expat Eddie takes a thieving employee to court - and loses! Why? Because he didn’t bother to bring his lawyer. In LA its not enough to have proof and be in the right. You need your lawyer too- since you’re a rich 1st World guy and the thief is a poor downtrodden local (who just happens to need your Plasma TV and DVD player more than you do)

What are these things called passport embargos and arraigos? They are court orders that block you from leaving the country! How and why the LA courts can keep you from travelling, and why LAlocals can get around that kind of order a lot easier than Expats can (but you can do it too if you know the tricks)

The Expat Files

Real estate tricks your lawyer can work out with the seller that can save you (the buyer) thousands

The anomalous “Tramitador”. He’s your LA lawyer’s motorcycle ridin’ right-hand-man and the guy that‘s forever greasing the broken wheels of the legal system  The best unknown money saving real estate trick of all (and this one’s 100% legal!) How to buy property and/or own a business completely under the radar, and it’s perfectly legal too (er… it’s legal if you’re Latin).

The Expat Files

Real estate buying tips; how to slice ¼ off the already cut-rate LA property prices.

How 1^st Worlder’s get suckered into paying too much for LA properties (and are more than happy to do it!)

How to spot desperate Latin sellers when perusing the property ads.

Tips on buying farmland and rural properties

Why every big fish in LA (including the so-called educated “best minds”) think the economic slowdown that’s just now beginning to take shape down here is just a tiny blip in the normal business cycle. Which by the way, means us PRN listeners have a huge advantage over the average numbskull.