The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Expat Files

-The truth about those famous “pensionado” programs for first worlder’s in places like Costa Rica, Panama and Chile. And why you should think twice about applying for that dubious status yourself -10 reasons why its not a great idea to move to Panama these days no matter what you’ve read on the internet.  In fact, it can be dangerous to your (financial) health -To bank in Panama or not- an IRS trap meant for you to fall into -The many, many untold advantages of sending your kids to a very high-end Latin American Private University (besides the fact that tuition is only $5000 a year compared $30k in the states) -Email me on questions about Latin America at theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-Some surprising things you never knew about Latin American sweatshops, and why most Latin countries have a two-tier minimum wage structure.

-You’ll never guess the #1 complaint with sweatshop workers. And it’s not the pay or the heat (why do you think they call them sweatshops?) or the bathrooms!

-Discussing the standard Latin American 44 hour work week

-Every Latin country levies a personal income tax. Even so, nearly everyone pays zero in taxes... and its absolutely legal

-How Latin governments fund their toxic buerocracies

-The truth about Latin American social security (and you thought ours sucked!)

-Latin workers get guaranteed job benefits by law from their employers. Sounds great for workers but its more a gift to employers

The Expat Files

-Some disturbing facts for anyone thinking about moving to Brazil

-Why Brazil is NOT on the US state department’s traveler’s warning list but definitely should be

-DYK three out of four Latin countries make their police officers buy their own bullets? (which is probably a good thing)

- DYK that Brazil is the only major country that does not allow derivatives trading or the holding of derivatives in their bank portfolios? (an undoubtedly great thing!)

-The truth about trying to live off your savings in Latin America

-How to land a good job (in your chosen career) with a first world trans-national company even before you land in Latin America

-A bit about the IRS foreign earned income tax exemption

-Email me on questions about Latin America at theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-Johnny describes more of his upcoming very special Latin American Insider’s seminar

-Some pertinent email questions from a non-Spanish speaker who’s about to make his/her first trip down to Latin America -How to find an honest cab driver and a safe, cheap hotel when you first step off a plane in an unknown Latin country

-Some very short and easy phrases for non-Spanish speakers that will get you through the first few bumpy days

-How to accurately determine the good, bad and the ugly parts of any Latin town when you first arrive (even a night!)

-Taxi tricksters and what you need to watch out for

-More tips for finding and hooking up with a Latin lawyer on your first time down

-Due to the First World “lag time” effect, paper telephone books are NOT dead in the water like they are in Cleveland, not by a long shot

-Email me on questions about Latin America at theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

- Cuba’s most effective export; it’s not Communism, Cohibas, nor baseball players or even sexy salsa dancers, but medical doctors. Why you shouldn’t believe all the great stories you hear about the people’s party medical system.

-Expat Eddie ends up in a Cuban hospital

-The two tiered medical care in Cuba, and why patient’s rights don’t exist

-Notes on Latin American militaries. While no military is a good military, Latin armies are very small per capita and extremely underfunded. You rarely see any solders on the street- not like in the old Reagan Cold War times. Expats really have nothing to worry about.

-The few minor exceptions to the above statement

-Send your emails to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-Ordering items by mail/internet from the USA. The shipping costs, methods, duties, customs, tariffs and security issues.

-Tips for hand carrying newly purchased items through 3^rd World customs

-The low down on Latin brand name plumbing supplies as well as Latin made kitchen, laundry, bathroom appliances, tools, air conditioning units and Jacuzzis (yes, they do nice clones of Jacuzzis too!). And so much cheaper than First World name brands- they seem to look and work just fine. But do they really last?

-There is a certain bored upscale Latin female market for trashy self-help NYT bestsellers. That’s why books like “The Secret”, some of Oprah’s favorite picks and other mind-numbing new-age junk gets quickly translated into Spanish and shows up in the bookstores right along with the original English versions of the same faddish stuff.

-One of the few excellent things about popular LA tourist sites- the 1^st World style used bookstores.

-How the sun deceives in the altiplano. Why (in 70 degree weather) many a freshman tourist has been fried like an egg after just a half hour

-Some tips on Third World insects and pests.

-Why Gringos use shorts and bug spray, and Latins don’t

- Your run of the mill snake encounters, and the truth (and the rumors) about poisonous snakes

-Send your emails to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-The Politically incorrect truth about how the “Gringo Advantage” affects mating, dating and romance between First World men and Latin Women. -The scoop on internet dating and mating services that promise love and romance with beautiful Latin women, and why they generally don’t pan out. -The US divorce rate is well over 50% and the divorce rate in Latin America is below 20%. And it remains below 20% even when Expats marry Latinas- as long as the couple DOESN’T move back to the USA! -Romantic advice to lonleyheart Expats: don’t set your sights on wealthy Latin women or the daughters of wealthy or upper class Latin women. If you fall into that trap you’ll be sorry. -Ten reasons why you should NEVER bring the Latin love of your life back to live with you in the USA -Email me on questions about Latin America at theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

- When Latin America businesses accept US dollars and how tourists routinely get stung during dollar exchanges in places like Costa Rica -Calculations and statistics on the probability that you’ll be assaulted or robbed -while living down here or while visiting as a clueless tourist (we all are clueless at first) - Getting around in Latin America; tips on how to get a handle on the safe-vs-the dangerous parts of Latin American cities and towns. -Things you should know about medium and high-end real estate projects; more reasons why the typical Latin lack of detail spells good news for Expats -Don’t forget you can email me anytime theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-What are the calculated odds that an Expat starting a business in Latin America will succeed or fail? -The advantages of doing business in the altiplano region- those hundred of towns and cities that have “eternal spring-like weather” -The odd story of why middle and upper class Latins use propane fuel when they really don’t have to deal with it at all. It’s more than a tradition, in fact it could be a very good thing for First World folks to take note of. -Hot running water, or not? Even some of the wealthy folks don’t have it and they have their reasons -A bit about the Latin American power grid infrastructure; how in 10 short years it went from being a Third World joke to a pretty decent copy of the distribution system we have in the states -“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” is the prevailing Latin business attitude- precisely why most Expat businesses can’t help but succeed. And by the way, Latin businesses are plenty broken, but not by their standards -Don’t forget you can email me anytime theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-More emails and questions about how I ended up in LA

-How Costa Rica got on the radar as a hot destination, and why it deserves to be shoved off the list

-There’s a steady flow illegal Nicaraguans sneaking into Costa Rica- do to the menial jobs that Costa Ricans feel they are too proud to do (sound familiar?)

-How immigration laws work (and don’t work) for both Latins and 1st Worlders. Crossing boarders within the 20 Latin American countries - and the strange case of Mexico

-The LA version of big brother, excessive bureaucracy, and out of control tax policies

-More on the special altiplano regions- those particular cities and towns in LA over 3000 feet in elevation where you get ideal eternal spring-like weather all year round

-More on the LA countries I would personally never want to live in (and some I wouldn’t even want to visit if you paid me!)