The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

-A few words about those famous Latin “Quince Anos” parties. You should know that every Latin 15 year old girl has one of those “quince anos” parties and its a real big deal… a major shindig. Every expat off the tourist trail (who doesn’t hang exclusively with other expats) will surely get invited to more than a few of these boring events... especially if you have a Latin significant other. And if you don’t show up you’ll catch hell and if you do show you’ll probably be the only gringo there.

-A local Latin pharmacist’s take on the Mormon penetration in Latin America.. his pharmacy is down the block from a big Mormon church and he sees the occasional walk-in.

-Deported Latins are everywhere down here. Expats run into them all the time. And after having been ingloriously booted out of Uncle Sam land (some many times.) these guys want to bond with expats and be our friends. Why? Because they feel displaced and embarrassed and not quite at home back in Salvador or Nicaragua… the places they escaped from. They found out quickly that only in the US could a guy with a 6^th grade education, no skills, poor hygiene and homemade tattoos have his own a car, apartment, flat screen TV, A/C, hot running water and such. Many male deportees feel they are a notch above their local brethren in the home country  and take every opportunity to warm up to gringo expats to try to be their friends. What should you do when that happens to you? Just be polite, but don’t ever give them your address, email, or real phone number or you’ll have a pest on your hands. Yes they do speak some English, so what about hiring them for your Latin business? Er…generally not a good idea. I assure you, most deportees have picked up some very bad habits in the barrios of Los Angeles and/or on the streets of Cleveland.

-A short primer on crude Latin American street slang

-Every long term expat must be prepared for the eventuality that he/she will be tapped as a godparent to a Latin child.

Can, or should, you turn it down? Well, here’s that story..

-Don’t laugh, but some have postulated that gringos are genetically predisposed to succeed in Latin America. Could that be possible? Let’s talk about it…..

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Its over half filled now so be be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for full details and the earlybird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-So many new expats and visitors, when traveling off the tourist trail, are surprised to see how many poor folks (mostly indigenous  men and women) and even very young kids wander along the highways collecting loads of newly cut wood and carrying bundles of the stuff on their backs like pack mules. And gringos, until they get used to it, find it hard to believe that about one third of Latin American families cook and heat their homes with firewood like in the Wild West days!

-And now a few stinging comments about dating, mating and marriage from a well-travelled male gringo listener who claims he can actually dance! He’s obviously more than a bit put off when he sees that a good proportion of white, lonely-heart, middle-aged gringos down in Latin America (who can’t dance) are hooking up with young Latinas (who obviously cut a mean rug too).

-Some very frank and un-PC love and romance comments for all of you gringos and gringas who’ve heard certain rumors about what can happen with gringo/Latin relationships in Latin America

-Yes its true (on the tourist trail especially) some Latin women and men are looking to hook up with practically any gringo or gringa just for the chance at that elusive green card and the high possibility (in their minds of course) of having blond, blue-eyed Justin Beiber babies. Latins know they won’t hit that kind of genetic lottery with any of the local Latin talent. But no expat wants to be taken for a ride, so what to do? Well, there are ways of determining, in any budding relationship, the true intent of your prospective romantic partner. There does exist a simple weeding out process for potential gold-diggers that has proven success in many questionable cases.

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Its over half filled now so be be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for full details and the earlybird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-Is it safe to jog or bike on the open road in Latin America? Are people actually into it in a big way like many folks in the states? Of course there are safe and not so safe areas to hit the road... and the goods news is, there are very few reports of Latin joggers and bicyclists getting assaulted or mugged - even though many of them exercise in polluted, chaotic city centers that I would never recommend for expats.

-Only in Latin America (and maybe Washington DC) will you see this strange phenomena; a lone jogger or bicyclist putting down a public big city road while being closely trailed by a bulletproof luxury SUV that's chock full of bodyguards

-What about outdoor hobbies like mountain biking, skating, scuba, surf and skate boarding, and those extreme sports like hang-gliding bungie jumping, zip-lining, stock car and drag racing and paintball? Are Latins into any of that stuff? If so, what about  secure places do them and shops and stores where you can get all the latest gear? Well, here’s the dope on that….

-Latins have all manner and types of car and auto clubs, even shows and competitions for classic Detroit heavy metal; that is, if your hobby veers to that interest. However, since Latins are not big on the details, your car (I mean a gringo owned and maintained classic) will most probably win all the awards.

- Some additional cost- of- living info reinforcing why, unless you have a hefty pension,  its not a very good idea to expat to either Argentina, Uruguay, Costa Rica or Chile.

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Its over half filled now so be be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for full details and the earlybird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-Some very recent Latin American cost of living examples.. this time not from me but from a brand new green expat (who knows almost no Spanish). Tom came with fresh boots on the ground and he’s been here only 4 months and got the housing deal of a lifetime… and man, did he do right!

-I get many email questions from gringos and gringas regarding dating, mating, love and romance in Latin America. Things that are very pertinent but that I just can’t answer on the show. So as to not leave many of you hanging out to dry on that important subject… I can now can refer you to the ExpatWisdom.com website where you’ll find a very very knowlegable new blogger named Expat X.. a guy who has interviewed more than 200 Expats on that very subject. I’m sure you will find his take on the subject interesting, useful, honest and un-PC.

-Some thoughts about how to get the vitamins, supplements and the various health-based stuff you’re used to getting up in the first world. There’s the usual suspects like Vitamin C and D and CoQ10 and curcumin, but what about the one-off items like Gary Null’s Green Stuff? How do you get that shipped?

-Tips on bringing vitamins, supplements and/or prescription drugs on airplanes. What are the rules and the problems when  bringing them in carry on or checked luggage?

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Its over half filled now so be be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for full details and the earlybird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-Latins regularly cheat on their taxes with impunity and almost always get away with it. That means if you are looking to buy, rent or lease an existing business, you can be 100% sure that the books are cooked (undercooked actually) for the taxman’s benefit. So then, how can you get a true picture of the health of that business? Here are some tips….

-The only Latin government departments that are actually somewhat organized along first(or second) world lines are IVA tax collections (called VAT tax in Europe). And it figures. When it comes to the money shakedown, even government slugs get off their dead asses. In fact Latin governments even have an 800 number “snitch” hotline for civilians to report on businesses that do not give out official receipts (facturas). Tax evasion is considered a minor crime that can generally be fixed with a bribe.

-Some “off the books” items to consider along with some questions to ask the seller, if you plan on buying an existing business in Latin America

-A few words about property and business option clauses in Latin contracts, and what to be on the look out for- if a Latino happens to make you an offer on YOUR little mom and pop business.

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Be be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for full details, pricing and earlybird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-Here’s some advice about gas stations in Latin America that will get you thinking.

Just like there are certain restaurants you’d never patronize there are certain Latin gas station generic brands that, unless you’re running on vapor, you should never think of using…

-You should always have an empty plastic water bottle or container in your car and here’s why……..

-Child labor is rampant in Latin America and almost everywhere in the informal economy. But the family’s between a rock and a hard place- they’ve gotta eat. Too bad they don’t believe in (or never heard of) planned parenthood.

-Now we need to have a very serious discussion regarding those disgusting cucarachas. The fact is, they are NOT ubiquitous in Latin America though most people would assume they are. I know many expats who have learned to live with them- but I know even more expats who have found totally natural ways to eradicate them; COMPLETELY. Personally, I have not seen one in my house for over two years.. but there are a few simple rules you need to follow to get that happy first-world result …

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for in-depth details, pricing and the early-bird signup bonus…

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-The upcoming Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28… a full six days. Do be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for in-depth details, pricing and earlybird signup bonus… -A few words about expat those wannabes who have gained all kinds of knowledge and great info from my show and a lot of other sources yet are just too petrified to jump into the deep end. Expat Eddie says they’re like some people he knows who religiously follow gold and silver markets but never put any money in. -Some uncommonly good info on how to have and maintain a small internet footprint (which is more important then ever) and some hints on how to become almost completely anonymous. Remember, having a very low profile is the Expat’s unspoken creed you know.. -Whether you think Bitcoins are a bubble, a pyramid scheme or a good solid game plan, many expats and wanabees are moving their assets around and shifting out of high tax regions by converting to Bitcoins. Here are a few words on the bitcoin phenomena and how expats are catching the Bitcoin bug -Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one

-The dates for the next Expat Wisdom “Latin American Insider Seminar” (well off the gringo tourist trail of course) will be Sunday, June 23, thru Friday, June 28. In the first part of today’s show you’ll get many of the specifics but do be sure to go to ExpatWisdom.com and click on the seminar link for in-depth details and pricing…

-One big reason so many expat wanabees remain on the fence and never actually get to Latin America is because they have a real fear of failure. Somehow they have it in their minds that they won’t be able to make a go of it on the nest-egg they have, no matter how big or small. So in a sense they are letting their first-world comfort-based cradle-to-grave paradigm get in the way of their goals.

-I'm happy when expats and wanabees have a common dream of retiring or semi-retiring in Latin America... but I wince when I hear that the other half of that dream is to own and operate a restaurant! Jeese Louise!....seems like every gringo thinks there's a chef in the family! In reality the restaurant biz has always been very hard work with miserably long hours… and no one who’s ever done it will admit that it resembles anything close to semi-retirement. Even so, there can be rewards and some great success stories if you can find that certain “niche” market…. that's IF you can find it!           

-Buying, renting or partnering up with an existing small business in Latin America- Part 1. Some pitfalls you should know about- if for example, you wish to buy a going concern, like a mom and pop hotel or a restaurant. Listen to Part 2 on the next show.

-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one