The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Expat Files

- Cuba’s most effective export; it’s not Communism, Cohibas, nor baseball players or even sexy salsa dancers, but medical doctors. Why you shouldn’t believe all the great stories you hear about the people’s party medical system.

-Expat Eddie ends up in a Cuban hospital

-The two tiered medical care in Cuba, and why patient’s rights don’t exist

-Notes on Latin American militaries. While no military is a good military, Latin armies are very small per capita and extremely underfunded. You rarely see any solders on the street- not like in the old Reagan Cold War times. Expats really have nothing to worry about.

-The few minor exceptions to the above statement

-Send your emails to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-Ordering items by mail/internet from the USA. The shipping costs, methods, duties, customs, tariffs and security issues.

-Tips for hand carrying newly purchased items through 3^rd World customs

-The low down on Latin brand name plumbing supplies as well as Latin made kitchen, laundry, bathroom appliances, tools, air conditioning units and Jacuzzis (yes, they do nice clones of Jacuzzis too!). And so much cheaper than First World name brands- they seem to look and work just fine. But do they really last?

-There is a certain bored upscale Latin female market for trashy self-help NYT bestsellers. That’s why books like “The Secret”, some of Oprah’s favorite picks and other mind-numbing new-age junk gets quickly translated into Spanish and shows up in the bookstores right along with the original English versions of the same faddish stuff.

-One of the few excellent things about popular LA tourist sites- the 1^st World style used bookstores.

-How the sun deceives in the altiplano. Why (in 70 degree weather) many a freshman tourist has been fried like an egg after just a half hour

-Some tips on Third World insects and pests.

-Why Gringos use shorts and bug spray, and Latins don’t

- Your run of the mill snake encounters, and the truth (and the rumors) about poisonous snakes

-Send your emails to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-The Politically incorrect truth about how the “Gringo Advantage” affects mating, dating and romance between First World men and Latin Women. -The scoop on internet dating and mating services that promise love and romance with beautiful Latin women, and why they generally don’t pan out. -The US divorce rate is well over 50% and the divorce rate in Latin America is below 20%. And it remains below 20% even when Expats marry Latinas- as long as the couple DOESN’T move back to the USA! -Romantic advice to lonleyheart Expats: don’t set your sights on wealthy Latin women or the daughters of wealthy or upper class Latin women. If you fall into that trap you’ll be sorry. -Ten reasons why you should NEVER bring the Latin love of your life back to live with you in the USA -Email me on questions about Latin America at theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

- When Latin America businesses accept US dollars and how tourists routinely get stung during dollar exchanges in places like Costa Rica -Calculations and statistics on the probability that you’ll be assaulted or robbed -while living down here or while visiting as a clueless tourist (we all are clueless at first) - Getting around in Latin America; tips on how to get a handle on the safe-vs-the dangerous parts of Latin American cities and towns. -Things you should know about medium and high-end real estate projects; more reasons why the typical Latin lack of detail spells good news for Expats -Don’t forget you can email me anytime theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-What are the calculated odds that an Expat starting a business in Latin America will succeed or fail? -The advantages of doing business in the altiplano region- those hundred of towns and cities that have “eternal spring-like weather” -The odd story of why middle and upper class Latins use propane fuel when they really don’t have to deal with it at all. It’s more than a tradition, in fact it could be a very good thing for First World folks to take note of. -Hot running water, or not? Even some of the wealthy folks don’t have it and they have their reasons -A bit about the Latin American power grid infrastructure; how in 10 short years it went from being a Third World joke to a pretty decent copy of the distribution system we have in the states -“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” is the prevailing Latin business attitude- precisely why most Expat businesses can’t help but succeed. And by the way, Latin businesses are plenty broken, but not by their standards -Don’t forget you can email me anytime theexpatfiles@gmail.com

The Expat Files

-More emails and questions about how I ended up in LA

-How Costa Rica got on the radar as a hot destination, and why it deserves to be shoved off the list

-There’s a steady flow illegal Nicaraguans sneaking into Costa Rica- do to the menial jobs that Costa Ricans feel they are too proud to do (sound familiar?)

-How immigration laws work (and don’t work) for both Latins and 1st Worlders. Crossing boarders within the 20 Latin American countries - and the strange case of Mexico

-The LA version of big brother, excessive bureaucracy, and out of control tax policies

-More on the special altiplano regions- those particular cities and towns in LA over 3000 feet in elevation where you get ideal eternal spring-like weather all year round

-More on the LA countries I would personally never want to live in (and some I wouldn’t even want to visit if you paid me!)

The Expat Files

-Johnny announces his upcoming very special Latin American Insider’s seminar -Catching up on emails -For many reasons, its not generally recommended that 1st Worlders settle in LA tourist towns, but there are certain types of tourist towns that are very good bets for Gringos hoping to start businesses. -Another novice Gringo error; when starry-eyed Expat newcomers open businesses that butt heads with other established 1st Worlder’s in similar businesses -DIY solar hot water heater units; another slam-dunk business idea for expats -The Latin turtle laws and the ongoing turtle fiasco -How about a LA college education at a high-end private university? You can get one at about 25% of the cost of a mediocre US community college or state university, but…. -The “Gringo Advantage” as it applies to Europeans

The Expat Files

-Why do so many Latin American politicians get shot or killed in the days leading up to an election, and who is responsible?

-The do’s and don’ts of bidding on, and winning, Latin American government contracts

-More of what you don’t know about what really happens inside Latin American

Politics

-“CAR WARS” (starring Expat Eddie): Eddie illustrates some new reasons why its never a good idea to own a nice new car down here

-Putting your money in a Latin American bank (or not), and if so how much?

-The Citibank saga in Latin America and how they stumbled into a “Gringo Advantage” (on steroids)

The Expat Files

-Some notes on LA attorneys; did you know that they are actually admired and not in the least bit distained or hated down here? They’re much more laid back, like small town US lawyers were in the 1950’s and 60’s- NOT the high pressure shysters we’re so used to. But watch out for lawyers in highly promoted tourist areas like Costa Rica and Panama, they’re the slimey 1st World style exceptions to the rule.

-Why 90% of the time, an LA lawyers will advise you NOT to sue! (what a breath of fresh air!)

-Notes on my 1st trip to Coast Rica in the early 1980’s, before the boom, and why it reminds me so much of my other favorite “off the radar” LA countries today. How when down in CR, I had a ridiculously simple and obvious business idea that would have been an instant success- but instead of pursuing it I did what 99% of Gringo tourists do about their fleeting ideas, NOTHING! And when I came back 5 yrs later, a few local guys began doing it (badly) and making money!

-My Mayan calendar predictions for 2012 (they differ a bit from the local shaman’s)

The Expat Files

-Language essentials; how much Spanish do you really need to know to have the confidence (and understanding) to open up a small business in LA? Here’s my own story of my early days stumbling around in Costa Rica and Columbia; and how I managed to start more than a few successful businesses with only about two dozen simple Spanish words and phrases under my belt. -Even the most retarded Latin government bureaucrats realize that advanced 1st World countries manage all business, technology and the sciences in ENGLISH. Based on that fact, most LA school curriculums now make sure every Latin kid in both public and private school is taught English in both grade school and high school. Sounds good, right? So why do 95% the kids who graduate have practically no functional English at all? (except in high volume tourist areas where knowing English means tips in US dollars!) Here are the facts on why that system fails so miserably (and will continue to do so), and why that failure includes students all the way through the PUBLIC university level (And I’m not trying to be a 1st World snob here). -Your (and my) bad Spanish and how Latins deal gently with us -Ten more reasons why you’ll be infinitely better off down here in LA when the next big worldwide economic and social disaster(s) hit- and the clock is ticking