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A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.
Episodes
Monday Feb 09, 2015
Monday Feb 09, 2015
-Today we have some very rarely talked about news concerning one of the hot topics of the moment, Nicaragua- often touted by retirement rags as the next Costa Rica. Here we discuss some very disturbing news about Nicaragua’s president Daniel Ortega.
-Now more solid proof why Latin government leaders are corrupt, died-in-the- wool psychopaths, who, in any other chosen career or profession, would certainly end up on a prison rock pile. Come to think of it, that’s also 100% true in the first-world politics. Stateside government leaders are a bunch of ripe colostomy bags too.
-You’ve certainly heard the term “karma” and the that other glib phrase, “what goes around comes around”. Well, if you’re naive enough to believe that somehow “justice prevails”, you’ve yet to see how the Latin legal system works.
-Expats and income taxes in Latin America: 40% of working Latins are “off the books” and thus pay no income taxes at all while the rest of working Latins “on the books” pay 10% in taxes or less. Note that some Latin businessmen “on the books” pay almost no taxes either… depending on how their accountants and Lawyers arrange things. Just remember that tax evasion is a national sport in Latin America.
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Monday Feb 09, 2015
Monday Feb 09, 2015
-Today we have a gold related boots-on-the-ground story that’s really worth a long, long look.
-Many expats and gringos pose similar questions about owning and transporting gold/precious metals. And some people who already have a stash of gold or silver in the states are questioning how to bring it to Latin America. They wonder if they should liquidate and re-purchase once they get down or try to walk or ship it across boarders themselves.
-Some tricks on how to store and hide your gold from the usual suspects- your ex(es), common crooks and government thieves.
-Coin shops and pawn dealers in Latin America: yes they have them but they’re not found in every middle and lower middle class neighborhood like in the states…. and they're not much like the places you’re used to back home either.
-Latin America, the murder capital of the world? Well, that’s what it seems like from all first world media reports. However, Latin America is not nearly as dangerous as you think. You’d know exactly what I’m talking about if you knew enough Spanish to read the local newspapers and were able to read for yourself just where all these crimes are taking place..
-Where is the next Costa Rica? Well, International Living, Yahoo news, The Huffington Post, retirement rags and more are saying its Nicaragua. So go ahead and dive right in, but be careful what you wish for. Know that Gringo tourism has contaminated Costa Rica and jaded the locals to such an extent that long time gringo expats are leaving the place in droves. Still want to jump on that Nicaragua ship?
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Sunday Feb 01, 2015
Sunday Feb 01, 2015
-Pirated Software Part 2: the latest on the use, abuse and massive availability of pirated software throughout Latin America. In this episode we see just how easy it is to purchase a $6 pirated version of Microsoft Office (normally $100+ for the legal, registered version) directly from a major Latin newspaper classified section yellow pages ad. Notice that if you purchase the stuff, no one will ever mention the word, “pirate”. They’ll simply refer to it as “unregistered”.
-If you’re trying to re-learn or bone up on your faulty high school Spanish, be sure to install at least a few of your computer programs in Spanish, not English. At first it will be trial by fire, but very much worth it in the end.
-Do #800 phone numbers work when calling them from Latin America? If so, are they free of charge? Well, yes and no….
-Its “buyer beware” or better yet, “buyer’s remorse” when signing contracts in Latin America. Know that there is no such thing as a“48 hour cooling off period” as opposed to certain legal transactions and contracts in the states.
-Some info for people interested in bringing a first-world franchise businesses down to Latin America
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Friday Jan 30, 2015
Friday Jan 30, 2015
-If you’re trying to re-learn or bone up on your faulty high school Spanish, note that lately Netflix and some of the other video downloading and streaming services are now providing the higher quality Spanish programming from Spain with Eng/Span subtitles. It’s a very good way to see how middle and upper class Latins actually converse and quite above the kind of low street lingo that average Latin gardeners and illegals in the USA hood generally speak.
-DYK that all first-world college students who wish to become Spanish teachers in USA public schools must do at least a month immersion program with a non-English speaking Latin American family? Sounds logical, right? Well, hold onto your hat folks… because here’s a shocker you’ve never heard before!
-Now for some startling news about scorpions. Surprisingly enough, scorpion stings are the second leading cause of emergency room visits in much of Mexico(the first being gunshot wounds, naturally) … with over 250,000 people stung each year. In fact, Durango Mexico holds the world’s record. It’s ground zero for scorpion stings worldwide!
-Strangely enough, there will be times when way off the gringo tourist trail (often in the middle of nowhere) you’ll suddenly come across a bridge, park or highway named after a dead US president. Say what? Surely you’ll wonder how that happened….
-The latest skinny on the use, abuse and massive availability of pirated software throughout Latin America
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Friday Jan 23, 2015
Friday Jan 23, 2015
-Why is it that you will instantly meet the stinking rich and the scumbag poitico movers and shakers in Latin America by simply joining a golf course or country club? It’s because there are virtually no public golf courses in Latin America. That means the cost of club membership not only rules out the Latin middle classes but also the so called Latin upper-middle classes. Only the truly wealthy (and some above average income expats) can afford the $20k or so membership fee. And though not all are pretentious jerks- that will be the general class of people you will be duffing with…
-I don’t golf anymore. One of the reasons I quit was because when I’d hit the links with a group of Latin duffers- whether in Costa Rica, Panama or Colombia- I’d usually catch some guy cheating. And why not? Latins that can actually afford the club memberships are generally sleazebag politicians, or the snooty class of hereditary land owners, or high-ranking military jerks with dough to burn (usually on the payroll of narcos), and of course their entitled kids. But the very nice thing for us Expats is that the courses are virtually empty. The members rarely golf since the payoff for Latins is simply the status to belong…
-Like the Chinese water torture: multiple small earthquakes, tremors and the infrequent large quakes will do small but continuous damage to water pipes. Little by little, pipes will shift and thus crack and break. You can’t stop entropy, but there are a few things you can do to minimize the inconvenience and the damage..
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Sunday Jan 18, 2015
Sunday Jan 18, 2015
-Just a few pointed observations about the often spoiled and pampered children of long-term Expat gringos. Though gringos should know better, they’re often guilty of letting their kids run roughshod over the maids, nannies and cleaning ladies. And when witnessing that stuff first hand, you just have to keep your mouth shut or lose friends …
-There are some pretty skanky Latin lawyers out there, most of the sleazy ones I’ve met personally have been plying their trade “on the tourist trail” in places like Costa Rica, Panama and Mexico- hard at work stiffing clueless gringos. Though as a rule when “off the tourist trail”, most lawyers are, nice, low key and generally boring… not nearly the right stuff necessary to swim with the sharks.
-Beautiful Spanish tile and ceramic floors are to be found everywhere in Latin America and they last practically forever. But because of constant low grade seismic activity, sooner or later a tile or two will come lose and require some repair work. Sounds like a no brainer, but it isn’t. That’s when you need to crack the whip.
-Certain interesting and unexpected things can happen when gringo couples come down to live in Latin America. One of the most common anomalies is- all other things being equal-the woman (gringa) learns her Spanish and bonds with the locals much, much faster than her gringo partner. So then what’s it about us gringo guys? Well, compared to gringa women, is it just that we’re lazy or perhaps a bit thick?
-Another cool new Expat story that proves that when off the tourist trail, the “gringo advantage” is alive and well!
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Friday Jan 16, 2015
Friday Jan 16, 2015
-There are some decidedly strange New Year’s events and traditions in Latin America. You might want to be aware of them because you certainly will get invited to Latin New Year’s celebrations. It would be nice to know ahead of time what to expect… since New Year’s parties “south of the border” are definitely NOT what you’re used to up in Cleveland.
-Did you know that Latin men have such a height complex (the average guy is about 5’4”) that the installation of “shoe lifts” is a very lucrative business? In fact, many, many, job want-ads have a minimum height posted in the classifieds; all the more reason to straighten up, and wear your hidden 2” lifts at your own next interview! And DYK that in Latin America the job wanted ad's for "Personal Bodyguards" lists the minimum height requirement at a very intimidating 5''4".
-Finally, this question is addressed today:
How do educated, above average gringos and expats keep mentally stimulated, happy and self-satisfied in a society that doesn’t read books, has little interest in topics like world events, nutrition, or any serious issues facing our planet today?
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Sunday Jan 11, 2015
Sunday Jan 11, 2015
-Questions have been dribbling in concerning Latin America drought conditions, leaving some listeners worried. That said, there are two Latin countries in very big trouble now (and well into the foreseeable future). Every expat should be well advised keep well away from these two particular places, and here’s why…
-Some Latin businesses and families are forced into getting their water supply from the local municipality. In congested Latin cities and neighborhoods, just like in the states, one cannot hire someone to dig a private well in the backyard. Out in the boonies, yes, you can have a well….and residential towers and private subdivisions can dig their own wells too. But reality is that many, many Expats are city types and thus are unfortunately stuck with slow, spotty, contaminated municipal water sources. So, today we’ll go over the worst of those particular problems and present some easy solutions…
-Some surprising news about Latin male fertility rates. Turns out, testosterone levels in young Latin men are way, way up as compared to the T levels measured in young men up the states. And it’s not due to certain things Latins eat, but rather more likely due to the things they don’t consume... though they are on much the same track.
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Friday Jan 09, 2015
Friday Jan 09, 2015
-We already know that gringos and expats can avoid getting sick by following a few simple and obvious hygienic practices. However, there are some difficult to avoid situations that could easily lead a person to the porcelain goddess or send them crawling (on all fours) to the nearest pharmacy.
-Many long-term expats who have learned their lessons well (like me) haven’t been really sick (other than maybe a simple head cold) for 5 or even 10 years or more, yet other expats don’t seem to care and do get sick regularly(just like they did back in the states). Some throw caution to the wind, which can be especially testy when eating out.
-If you’re thinking of starting a Latin business, here are some notes on the occasionally stilted world of Latin American marketing. The fact is, Latin businesses of all kinds commonly get away with crude and sexy marketing strategies that could never be attempted (or sanctioned?)up in the first world. If tried up north, there would surely be class action lawsuits with (enlightened?) women taking to the streets(or not).
-Tips to guide you when buying a used car in Latin America. Don’t be tricked into buying a car that’s actually a restored total wreck that was bought at auction in the states. Learn three ways to tell if the seller is trying to pull a fast one.
-A “boots on the ground” repair story for “Apple” product users in Latin America
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.
Sunday Jan 04, 2015
Sunday Jan 04, 2015
-Direct from Miami, a soon to be gringo Expat shares his secrets on how to best learn conversational Spanish right in the good ole Obamanation before voting with your feet and coming down to Latin America for good. Our astute Miami e-mailer suggests one of the best ways to assimilate Spanish without even trying is by watching certain Spanish language programing- and he gives tips on which programs to check out and the ones to avoid.
-Certain things you never knew about Latin music and the Latin music TV scene. Just lately many Latin music channels formerly only available in in Latin America, are now galloping into the big US Latino markets.
-And now a few crucial and rarely discussed things about the proposed Nicaraguan canal. Sure it will break ground, but it’s destined to be the greatest human construction endeavor that will never actually be finished…
-Do follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private phone, Skype or Mumble consult with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, we can talk about your situation one on one.