The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

Expat Files - 09.11.16

#1-Shipping and moving items to Latin America- PART 1:

Shipping your items down can often be a confusing, testy, frustrating, expensive and scattershot endeavor... a big headache for Gringos with poor Spanish skills. Most seasoned Expats who’ve been through the shipping meat grinder often advise newbee Expats to forget about it… just sell everything up north and buy new or used in their chosen Latin Country. But what if you must ship or bring certain specialty items down for business, pleasure or other purposes? Are there certain circumstances when it does pay to ship stuff down? Today you’ll hear about the best methods, the do’s and the dont's.

 

#2- Ordering from Amazon, Ebay and others on the internet:

Yes, you can do it all from your computer in Latin America but how complicated is it? Do you need to know Spanish? Are shipping companies reliable? Which companies should I use and what do they charge? How long does it take to get the stuff delivered? Do things get stuck at customs, and if so for how long? Might things get stolen? Are bribes necessary? Do items ship door to door? Is it all worth it?

Oh yes it is folks! I do it all the time. Today you get my personal tried, tested, easy and secure methods.   

 

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

 

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

Attendance will be very limited so do act now.

Expat Files - 09.09.16

#1-Thinking of bringing a USA franchise to Latina America?
Why not? About 95% of the landed franchises are absolutely cleaning up. Still, only a very small percentage of the most recognizable franchises have landed down here, perhaps 10% of the total number and that makes franchising in Latin America seem like nearly a no-brainer. However, meanwhile certain well known franchises like IKEA -one of the most successful franchises in the world- just cannot seem to get a foothold in Latin America, all because of a few odd, surprising and truly unforeseen reasons. Go ahead, take your best guess… 

#2- Today we have a car repair “boots on the ground” story that will both surprise and delight.

#3- No one can possibly imagine what it’s like to live “off the gringo tourist trail" in Latin America, not until they’ve actually done it for am while themselves. Sometimes it can be a jaw dropping experience and sometimes it can be a laugh a minute. Here’s another eye-witness tale to prove it…   

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

Expat Files - 09.04.16

#1- Stealing electric power has always been a Latin pastime, especially in chaotic big city neighborhoods and smaller towns in the countryside. How do they do it? How do they get away with it? Yes, some Gringos and Expats do it too. Here’s the skinny and a true “boots on the ground” story that tells all about it.. 

#2- Latin ladies have a fascination with stiletto high heels... and with what Expats and Gringos might call seriously overdressing for any given occasion.  It doesn’t matter that many roads and sidewalks are rough cobblestones that are treacherous and in bad shape. To the ladies, the thought of appearing sexy, tall and in the game seems worth the gamble.

#3- Can you guess the # 1 cause of Latin Hospital emergency room admissions? If you said gunshot wounds or leg injuries due to ladies in stiletto high heels you’d be wrong. You’ll never guess…  

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

Expat Files - 09.01.16

#1- Astute Gringos are fast waking up to the fact that a Latin American “Plan B” is in no way a crazy idea:

Yes, time is of the essence. If the window of opportunity is closing, how much time remains in order for one to successfully pull it off? Oddly enough it often depends less on money and resources than the physical and social baggage one has accumulated through the years.                 

#2- The Canadian Cunundrum:

As more and more Canadians express the desire to Expat and escape their expensive, expansive nanny state, they also exhibit a reluctance to abandon their flawed and deteriorating national healthcare system    

#3- Expats and potable H2O: what you need to know about the fresh water supply in your future Latin community.

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 

Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

Expat Files - 08.28.16

#1- Latins are perpetually happy. Does that magic rub off on us too? How long does it take? Can even perpetually sour Expats “south of the border” expect an instant personality makeover? Today we discuss those conundrums           

 

#2- A US building contractor speaks out: He’s starting on his “Plan B” and  abandoning the states and a lifelong career. He was on the fence for a long long time but now insupportable government regulations have become the straw that broke the camel's back   

 

#3- Muslims in Latin America: Where are they settling? Are they flooding in and gaining ground? How many are there? Should we be worried? Can you get a good lamb dish? Today we have a the scoop

 

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

 

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

Attendance will be very limited so do act now.

Expat Files - 08.26.16

Descriptions for THE EXPAT FILES SHOW #588- 08-26-2016 (Fri):

 

#1- How Latin con men, lawyers and even family members pull off real estate title scams and illegal land grabs: Today we have another true “boots on the ground” story         

 

#2- Latin business that have been ripped off or scammed by bad, larcenous employees often expose the fact, details, names and photos in the local newspapers. Thus the classified section can be use as a kind of rouge’s gallery- which is something a US employer could never ever get away with. He would be sued in a Nueva Jork minuto! 

 

#3- You can drive legally with only your US driver’s license for a while, but eventually you will need a Latin Drivers License: Here’s what Gringos and Expats need to know…

 

#4-These days most young Latin university graduates happen to be the very first person in the family to get a degree(shades of the 1960’s and 70’s back in the states). Surprisingly, many even have an illiterate parent or two! Because degrees and diplomas are so highly prized (again like the 60’s and 70’s) these kids are truly the golden boys and girls of the family. However the shame of it is, up to 90% of them get useless liberal arts and social science degrees where there are no jobs- so they never get a chance to work in their chosen fields…

 

#5- In Latin America you’ll also find you have freedoms that hark back to the good old days- the 1960’s, 70’s and 80’s back in the states: Yes, it’s all good in that respect. In fact its far better than good. Today we have some examples that will surprise you...

 

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

 

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

Attendance will be very limited so do act now.

Expat Files - 08.21.16

#1- You’ve heard of the phrase “9 meals from anarchy”?

It describes what 1st world people will face soon enough- when the mierda  truly hits the fan up in O’vomitland. Meanwhile here in Latin America, so much ripe fruit literally falls off the trees that the phrase “9 meals from anarchy” seems right out of Disney’s Fantasyland     

 

 #2- Loud, stinky, cheap motorcycles have invaded Latin America. We gringos and expats hate them. However to the Latin masses forced to use rickety, unsafe chicken buses they spell freedom. Just being able to afford one is a huge step up the socioeconomic ladder.  

 

#3- The Latin definition of the Latin “American dream” in their own home country is finally being able to move from a motorcycle to a crappy, rattle-trap car… any car. It’s the next big and mostly unobtainable step up the social ladder. Do note that as silly as it sounds, a guy with any type of junk car at all is a chick magnet to the millions of ladies forced by circumstances to ride those horrible chicken buses

 

#4-Rotten to the core CITI Bank now is in more than 10 Latin countries: Today we have another true "boots on the ground" tale of a happy golucky Latin guy busily working his way up the corporate ladder in that corrupt organization… ( Note, if you tell him or any Latin the truth about CITI they’ll think its you who has gone nuts)

 

#5- When Johnny was clueless gringo- Yes, years ago I was clueless too! I even rode chicken buses. Today we have wild story that revolves around the thoroughly weird but always fascenating chicken-bus set.       

 

 #6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

 

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

Attendance will be very limited so do act now.

Expat Files - 08.19.16

#1- Update on Gringo’s applying for residency in Latin countries: The residency rules and regs are changing rapidly and getting more complicated by the month. Though as of now, Guatemala residency is still the easiest and least expensive option for gringos who are seeking temporary or permanent residency in Latin America. 

#2- Colombia is all the rage with would be expats now –like Costa Rica and Panama were a few years ago: The news all over the blogisphere is Colombia has everything going for it, especially since in the past two years their peso has lost 50% against the dollar. However, today we have emails from Expats with many years of “boots on the ground” business experience in Colombia. They claim the business climate for Expats is horrible- Latin Big Brother and taxes are simply out of control and worse! What up with that?    

#3-Backpackers and hitchhikers: They seem to go hand in hand. Today we have a “clueless” gringa lady backpacking/hitchhiking story.  

#4-These days most places in Latin America have stores that stock practically everything you can get up north: even the idiotic and dangerous stuff aimed at self- absorbed Latin rich kids- like Hoover-boards   

#5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

Expat Files - 08.14.16

#1- Lookism and body part fixations are much more than alive and well in Latin America: starting with the amazingly perfect super-manniqins that can be seen and admired (or hissed at) in virtually all Latin clothing stores.

#2- Transgender restrooms have always been alive well in Latin America- at least with astute gringos. However, it’s a one-sided practice, not frowned upon and rarely commented on at all. Here’s why.. 

#3- First- world Food Trucks are starting to show up in Latin America: food truck junks are being imported from the states and refurbished: they smack of gringolandia and all things first-world so even if the food sucks, the “gringo advantage” coolness effect helps them succeed, not to mention Latins have seen them all over the place on US cable TV, so they’ve got all the free PR in the world.

#4- Why you need to have not just 1, but at least 2 Latin bank accounts: Here’s how many astute expats arrange their finances..

#5- Latin Real Estate bubble update: As the renter’s market becomes more profound and qualified buyers evaporate, clueless Latin realtors admit they are perplexed saying, “I don’t get it. Why aren’t people buying?” As a result, builders are suddenly offering unheard of “cash back” rebate deals on new housing. The same thing is being mirrored with new car sales..

#6-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com

#7- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/ 
Attendance will be very limited so do act now. 

Expat Files - 08.12.16

#1- Thank god for fearless maids and gardeners:

A report on varieties of insects, creatures and critters on the property and in the house. The bugs were here first. We’re the interlopers.  

 

#2-Don’t give your dough to organized charities. You feel good for the moment but are just financing the organizer’s lifestyles: The are many ways Expats can give back to the locals and also help the environment in the process. Giving dough to some “do gooder” organization is not one of them. Today we have an excellent example of an Expat doing the right thing..

 

 #3- Why is the 3rd world so… well…. 3rd world?

Thank the IMF, the World Bank, the UN and the USA for almost all that is screwed up politically and economically in Latin America.

 

 #4-Capital Punishment in Latin America: All Latin countries once had the death penalty but in the last 30 years most have repealed the law. Why? Would you believe as a condition for obtaining humanitarian aid and structural loans from the IMF and World Bank(most of which have been skimmed and misused or by lard-ass politicians)? Then right afterward, Latin crime skyrocketed and now the Latin pubic is clamoring once again for the death penalty. So now there’s an ongoing debate and political tug-of-war between the masses andCatholic and Christian groups.  

 

  #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

 

#6- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. To get in on the Early-bird discount list email: theexpatfiles@gmail.com Attendance will be very limited so do act now.