The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

Expat Files - 01.13.17

 #1- When Crossing Latin American land borders:

Doing so will always involve varying degrees discomfort, irritation and testiness. Sound familiar? Get ready for heavy dose of bureaucratic laziness on an epic scale. Most often the gringo advantage will do you no good there.

 

#2- A specific case of the Gringo “DISADVANTAGE”  

Today a “boots on the ground” story depicting of one of those infrequent situations when being a Gringo or Expat works against you.

 

#3- Today we have another Decameron resort story. This time in Colombia. Hear Part 1 of what happens when a Gringo (married to Colombian) signs up for one of those famous (and famously complicated) Decameron Resort Club packages

 

#4-The latest Latin TV attacks on Donald Trump will make you laugh out loud. You’ll think it’s a joke and they can’t be serious, but they are!

 

#5-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

 

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. Atwww.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 01.08.17

 #1- When Gringo/Expats get in traffic accidents. What to do? Yes, it will eventually happen to you but what happens then? BTW: if you get into a street fight with a chicken bus.. you will always lose.

#2- A specific case of the Gringo “DISADVANTAGE”
Today a “boots on the ground” story depicting of one of those infrequent situations when being a Gringo or Expat works against you.

#3- Spanish four letter words and their common usage among Latin men and women

#4-How Latins feel about their use of the word “Gringo”.  Depwnding on their use in public and private there can be both positive and negative inferences.

#5 –The dope on the prevailence of ” Fake” and “Unlicenced” Doctors in Latin America. Yes, they’re down here and flurishing but there are easy ways to tell the genuine article from the quacks

#6- The Big Butt scoop on implants and silicone injections in Latin America

#7- The “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs by phoning: 1-701-719-0893

#8- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 01.06.17

#1- Here’s why Mexico City is becoming a world cyber-crime capital…

#2- Mexico’s got a big logistics problem with returning immigrants. What’s it gonna do with the millions of illegals that Trump had promised to deport? Here’s the list of lame Mexican govt solutions.

#3 –“Convivios” are big time Christmas holiday party events that every Latin person looks forward to with great anticipation. They’re often toned down Latin versions of the US style drunken Christmas office parties. The key for Latins is to get invited to as many as possible- for the free eats and drinks.

#4-The truth about Latin America’s largest employer- Walmart

#5- Face it: Google, Facebook, Twitter and Wassap are actually cyberpimps- ever wonder how many times have they sold you and your dats off to the highest bidder?

#6- How honest and trustworthy are the average Mexican man or woman on the street? A recent boots on the ground “ Lost Wallet” experiment gives us an idea.. and it ain’t good. But are US citizens any better?

#7-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#8- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 01.01.17

 #1- Argentina’s Big Brother state is on the grow again, this time creating a bureaucracy (and in conjunction with USA bureaorats ) to crack down on money and assets that continue to flee Argentina. New December 2106 legislation places Argentine tax collection and worldwide asset seizure on steroids- above and beyond the appalling international FATCA and GATCA banking info exchange treaties started by the USA (that we all have grown to despise).

#2- Ayhauaska update: It’s been about 4 years since the Expat Files did a program dealing with that mystical shamanic stuff. In the meantime it’s become quite an underground phenomena up in the states, or so I gather from the emails that keep trickling on said topic.

#3 –When Gringos throw in the Expat towel. Sad to say, a certain percentage of people who make the move to “Vote With Their Feet” are ultimately unsuccessful with their “Plan B”. Some eventually pack up and head back to Seattle or Cleveland. Why does that occasionally happen?

#4-Gringo business ideas: what’s hot and what’s not

#5- A few words about gonnabees and wannabees hoping to get into the coffee business n Latin America

#6-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#7- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 12.30.16

 #1- Driving your car from the US to Latin America(or not): Though its not normally recommended that you drive down, just in case you’re the adventurous type and want to roll the dice, here are a few tips …

#2- Tips on buying a car in Latin America: mostly what NOT to do.

#3 -Mexico’s complicated rules of car ownership for Gringos and foreigners: Yes, you can bring your own car to Mexico from the US but some odd rules apply. However, your residency (temporary, permanent, pensionado) status in Mexico will determine many key things about your car purchases and licensing. Some of these complications go back to the NAFTA free trade agreement signed back in the 1990’s and creeping Big Brother tactics.

#4 Tips on renting a car in Latin America. More specifically what NOT to do.

#5-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 12.23.16

 #1- Recreational Drugs in Latin America: almost everything you wanted to know, err…almost.

#2- Uruguay and the “so called” free cannabis state. What they didn’t tell you in all the decriminalization hub bub and what you should really know  – be careful what you wish for.
 How the simple advent of legal recreational marijuana has caused tremendous bureaucratic nightmares. Uruguay’s sluggish Big Brother has bureaucratized and hamstring pharmacies and cannabis suppliers to the point of ridiculousness. Are you surprised?

#3 -What if in the unlikely event you happen to have drugs on you or in the car, while stopped by Latin cops? Not that you’d ever do that stuff- but just in case- here are some true stories…

#4 Why is Johnny Walker is the boozers of choice throughout Latin America? Even the lower classes who can ill afford anything but cheap rot gut called “guaro” will break out the “Johnny W”at most events because it to them it shows a certain class and worldliness (duh.. so they think). So how’d that stupid gringo wanabee trend get started?

 #4- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. Just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/
There are only one or two spots left so act now!!

 #5-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 12.18.16

#1- Expats Living in Latin America have lots of free time their hands. It’s tough work but someone’s gotta do it.

#2- “Maids, Gardeners and Cleaning Ladies- For Dummies”:
Unfortunately no one’s written it yet, but there really should be a "Dummies"  book for clueless expats.. Why? Because as with all new experiences in Latin America, gringos can certainly be clueless when it comes to the hired help and things can go south. Yes, we all make mistakes and learn the hard way with our maids, gardeners and cleaning ladies …(unless someone does write the book that begs to be written)

#3 Feeling a bit distressed because you are only paying $12 to $15 a day to the maid, cleaning lady or gardener? There seems to be that common closeted guilt felt by many fresh green expats and gringos. That said, listen to the commentary and you might feel differently about it..

 #4- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. Just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/
There are only one or two spots left so act now!!

 #5-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 12.16.16

 #1- Mating, Dating and Relationships in Latin America:

Of course its only natural that while in Latin America, single Gringos/Gringas and Latina/Latinos will be mating dating and hooking up all the time. Things can go very smoothly, or not, and sometimes we can be clueless and things can go terribly wrong. Today we have three true life dating, mating and romance failure stories. Then we have some warnings signs and tips to be on the lookout for and how you can head off or avoid relationship disasters before things go south or out of control. Unfortunately most will read or listen to this stuff and agree with it, though most won’t take the advice. Seems we all have to make our own relationship mistakes…     

 

 #2- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. Just send an email totheexpatfiles@gmail.com or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

There are only one or two spots left so act now!!

 

 #3-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

 

#4- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. Atwww.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

 

Expat Files - 12.11.16

#1- Part 4: Today we have our final segment on the Decameron “all inclusive” Latin beach resorts-revisited. Decamerons offer the least expensive “all inclusive” first-world style resort packages by far- and places that almost no native born American has ever heard of. Today we explain just what kind of people spend money to go to these resorts. Now being that these resorts are a totally Latin American product, there’s an ever present subtle (and not so subtle) class system ranking among the guests. That said, your Gringo advantage is super strong at these resorts. Yes, you’ll be in a class of your own in a throng of unabashed gringo wannabees.   

 

#2- Burning the Devil: Yes the Dec 7^th “torch the red devil” Latin holiday tradition went off again as usual, but this year with a vindictive twist. For the first time, blond-haired devils (Donald Trump effigies) appeared along side the regular Satan pinatas and were torched along with him too.

 

#3- Global Warming in Latin America: If it exists down here, no one seems to gives a damn since its almost never spoken of. Meanwhile, 50% of Latin families still cook with wood, blow off millions of tons of fireworks a year and burn over 100 million paper mache Devils every Dec 7 (for their annual “burn the devil” holiday ritual).  

 

#4 Those famous Cucaracha Killer Balls: By popular demand, today we repeat the simple organic roach killer recipe. Local Latins believe roaches just come with the turf, a necessary evil. That’s because they have never heard of those amazing cuca balls…        

 

#5- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. Just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/

There are only one or two spots left so act now!!

 

#6-Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

 

#7- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.

Expat Files - 12.09.16

#1- Part 3: The Decameron “all inclusive” Latin beach resorts revisited.
One of the least expensive “all inclusive” first-world style resort packages by far- and one place that almost no native born Americans have ever heard of- today we explore their Special Membership Club package in more detail. We find out how much it really costs to retire and live at one or more of these resorts year round including the add on’s and extras you should be aware of before signing on the dotted line.

#2- More very good reasons why you need a Latin lawyer- even if you think your Spanish is plenty good enough to maneuver through Latin government bureaucracy- today another crazy but true “boots on the ground” story:

#3- What you need to know know about laundry and laundromats in Latin America- an unexciting but necessary discussion

#4- Johnny’s next (and perhaps final) “Expat Insider” Plan ‘B’ Seminar will take place on Saturday, January 7th thru Thursday, January 12th , 2017. Just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com or click on this link: http://thenewexpat.com/johnnys-anuary-2017-latin-american-insider-seminar/
There are only 2 spots left so act now!!

#5. Announcing the new “Podcast by Phone” feature. You can now listen to the last FIVE Expat Files programs over the phone. The phone number is: 1-701-719-0893

#6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your Plan B  and the next best way to get started without actually coming to Latin America yourself. At www.ExpatPlanB.com see the three video intros to my new “Expat Essentials” course.