The Expat Files: Living in Latin America A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.

November 12, 2017  

#1- Jack Brett’s brand new second edition of “Fast Spanish” is now available for FREE, but only to Expat Files listeners.
Yes there are good, bad, ugly and great ways to learn Spanish. Jack Brett’s 110 page “boots on the ground” lean- mean guide to learning Spanish describes the fastest, most economical and efficient learning methods out there today. He’s done the legwork and now you can get the book for free by clicking on/or pasting this click into your browser: theexpatfiles.com/fastspanish

#2- Tales of the Latin wealthy classes:
The harder the dopey bodyguard set try to impress each other, the more embarrassing and ridiculous they look to us gringos(though not ridiculous at all to fellow Latins- who buy right into that superior class crap):
Listen here to how acts of extreme gringo wannabeeism serve to demonstrate the hollowness and shallowness of the "superior"  gene pool. Today's “boots in the ground” story to that effect takes place in one of Latin Americas biggest gringo-clone shopping malls.

#3- The latest update on the details concerning Private Healthcare Insurance for expats in Latin America- Part 1

#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

# 5- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com

#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#7- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com

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November 10, 2017  
#1- Dealing with chaotic, disorganized, lazy-ass Latin government fatheads. Why is it that when green gringos first arrive in Latin America, after seeing paper-pushing govt bureaucrats and slugs in action (or more precisely .. inaction) it tends to drive first-world people nuts? Then as time rolls on, a light-bulb goes off with most smart gringos. They start to see those govt puss-bags as a necessary ingredient, and one of the reasons why locals and expats have so much freedom and are able to live and do as they please.
 
#2- A lady expat’s "not so excellent" Latin paperwork adventure. Today’s “boots on the ground” story.
While trying to get the proper stateside documents to apply for Permanent Residency, our lady expat gets the govt slug run around on steroids. After setbacks and spinning her wheels for a month she finally gives up and starts the process over again. She suffered lost time and effort due to a slight change in a paperwork rule that just happened to coincide with when she was collecting her own documents and trying to get them authorized. Just plain bad luck. 
 
#3-When applying for residency in a Latin country (depending on the country) you will need certain necessary stateside documents either “Apostilled” or “Authenticated”.
There is a big difference between the two. Today we’ll explain why and what its all about.
  
#4- Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame has been holed up at the Ecuadorian consulate in London for over 5 years now. According to reports he’s been a total slob and the embassy staff are sick of him and his slovenly and often gross ways. They want him gone.  
 
#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
# 5- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com 
 
#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
 
#7- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com
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November 5, 2017  
#1- There’s something rotten about Latin public cemeteries. Today we have a few good reasons PUBLIC cemeteries are NOT such a good final resting place for you or your loved ones. But then again they’re dirt cheap- and when you’re dead you’re dead.
 
#2- Lots of Gringos and Expats order stuff from Amazon, Ebay, Alibaba, etc. Today we have a few practical tips that will make that experience much easier. For example, sometimes during the internet ordering process a discouraging window will pop-up saying, “Sorry, this item does not ship to your country”. Is it over then? No dice? Not to worry and here’s why….
 
#3-Parking tickets and moving violations: to pay or not to pay…
that is the question.
Most Latin police departments, except for those on the gringo trail, do not have their traffic ticket and moving violation offenses cataloged in a central data base. That means there is no blow-back or followup on the fines. Latinos know this and most just don’t bother paying up. Of course that situation will change as “lag time” kicks in, but for now its still, “to pay or not to pay”…that is the question.
 
#4- When Gringos and Expats go “off the utility grid” in Latin America- or nearly so;
 Part 1
 
#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
# 5- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com 
 
#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
 
#7- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com
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November 3, 2017  

#1- Do locals celebrate Halloween in Latin America? I’ll say they do, but why?
It took a few years for them to jump on board, but now they’ve grabbed onto the gringo Halloween tradition with a vengeance. Latins now celebrate that holiday “day/night” about 2 weeks longer than you do. However, the night time “trick or treat” bit is almost totally unheard of in typical neighborhoods, though in upscale  nice neighborhoods Latin kids tend to do the rounds. Still, it is hard to believe only a few short years ago there were almost no signs at all of Halloween in Latin America - except in gringoized tourist areas.

#2- Bits and pieces of the Bitcoin Dan story- how he ditched the Big Brother state and learned to love and appreciate the freedom he regained in Latin America. Today’s boots on the ground story.

#3-Bitcoin Dan will be a guest speaker At my January 2018 “Expat Insider” seminar in Guatemala, Central America. His topic will be, “the things you don't know about cryptocurrencies and the blockchain ”

#3- How to buy things with Bitcoin in Latin America? A primer on Bitcoin Visa cards and Latin country Bitcoin exchange kiosks

#4- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

# 5- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com

#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#7- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com

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October 29, 2017  

#1- There has been a striking absence of political correctness, big brother influence, social justice warrior types and so-called snowflakes here in Latin America-excepting in certain gringoized tourist areas and public Latin university campuses. Because Latin America is a macho society, the culture is a good 25 years behind when it comes to political correctness of any kind. Funny thing though, most expats find they can get along pretty well in that sort time machine…

#2- People are always asking me to reveal a thing or two about my own past USA history, so today we'll feature a short “boots on the ground” Johnny  Mueller Chicagoland story that will certainly surprise you.

#3- If you are a half way decent observer of human nature you can't help but notice that the majority of wealthy Latins have more than a few exceedingly bad habits, not the least of which is that they live far beyond their means (sound familiar?)and mostly paycheck to paycheck. Its all in the name of perpetuating a kind of "keeping up with the Jones's" on steroids, meanwhile the Jones's can't keep up either. Because showing off costs a lot of dough, they are forever late and often months behind in their basic payment obligations including utilities  bills and workers salaries. There’s an old saying “poor folks have poor habits”, but here in Latin America that applies across the board

#4- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com or visiting www.TheNewExpat.com

# 5- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com

#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#7- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com

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October 27, 2017  
#1- The newest phrase in the Latin street talk vernacular is “El Sueno Canadiense”. That means, “The Canadian Dream”. Sound familiar, kinda?
Yes, certain illegals who’ve been feeling the pressure of the Trump administration and the latest US immigration crackdowns are changing plans for a newer kinder more tolerant trajectory- Canada
 
#2- The average unsophisticated working-class Latino has basically 3 simple lifetime travel wishes- 1-to visit Miami, 2-to see Disneyworld and 3-to visit a place that has real snow.
If only our own jaded lives could be as uncomplicated.
 
#3- What if part of your mission to Latin America was to recruit and hire a bilingual translator guide or aide? How would you handle it? Today we have a slew of tips as well as some definite do’s and dont’s on that subject.
 
#4- There happens to be an unusual nexus of Bitcoin and cryptocurrency early adapters here in Latin America. Yes, many astute, low profile, expats are most definitely connected to the crypto-world and believe in all it stands for. Today we’ll discuss a few things about crypto on this side of the world that just might surprise you.      
 
#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
# 6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a “Plan B”blueprint and the best way kick-start your plans before getting your own boots on the ground in here in Latin America. See my video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com 
 
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
 
#8- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com
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October 22, 2017  

#1- Everything you gringos and expats need to know (and some things you didn’t even know you needed to know) regarding death, dying, cemeteries, funeral services, funeral homes, cremation and postmortem arrangements in Latin America

#2- The US embassy’s Big Brother arm wants to keep track of all the expat sheep who are leaving the barn. Yes, by pretending to be nice, fatherly and and helpful, embassies try to get you to give up your personal info and dats. Today we talk about how they’ll try to suck you in- and some tips on how not to fall for it

#3- Dealing with Social Security questions when living in Latin America- problems and payments

#4-Though “Manana time" is the unwritten rule here in Latin America there is one well-known glaring exception- when someone dies things get done in speedy Gonzales fashion. Much faster then up in the 1st world. Why the urgency and how’d that happen?

#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

# 6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. See the three video intros to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#8- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com

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October 20, 2017  
#1- When Gringos go “Native”. 
A small percentage do go native and its generally a sad thing to see, but not always. The signs are obvious- perpetually disheveled, sweaty, same smudged baggy shirt and pants, raggedy old sandals, slightly odoriferous. And bad smells prevail in the native gringo’s house too- the scent of dogs, cats, garbage and driveway chickens. Look out for the soiled grimy furniture, the smelly stained bathroom and the equally disgusting kitchen. But not to be too judgemental here, one does wonder why a 1st world person would chose to live like a perpetual backpacker. Surprisingly, most seem to be happier than pigs in s*^#! Some might say that "we" should be so lucky…         
 
#2- Why it pays to go farther “south” than “south of the border”.
Mexico was always touted as a cool, cheap destination for gringos and expats since before the 60’s. That is until lately. Today we have some current observations from gringos who abandoned the place and moved further south.
 
#3- A stark comparison of Latin American public schools (K -12) versus our own woefully inadequate USA public schools. Even though ours really suck, by comparison, Latin public schools make ours look like expensive East Coast boarding schools
 
#4-Today’s “boots on the ground” story comes from our own Capitan Mango. A surprising Good Samaritan story that could happen to you.
 
#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
 
# 6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. See my free video intro to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com 
 
#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
 
#8- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com
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October 15, 2017  

#1- Everything you need to know about hiring, firing and interviewing domestics, maids, and cleaning ladies.
Interviewees are coming from a completely different lifestyle, world view and social situation than you, so then what questions should you be asking in a interview? How much should you pay? What about benefits, hours and time off? Will she want to be on or off the government books? Do you have a choice?

#2- DYK that when “off the gringo tourist trail” a live-in maid averages about $175 a month. For that kind of ridiculous dough she has to work 80+ hours a week, from six in the morning to eight at night, and with only Sundays off. Its easy to see why domestics always prefer to work for expats and gringos when they possibly can?

#3- When Gringos and expats come to Latin America and finally settle in, often times old bad habits creep back into their lives. For example, some start collecting more and more junk, cluttering their newly “streamlined” life with unecessary stuff… a reprise of the old life back in Cleveland. Will that happen to you?

#4- What happens when there’s “hanky panky” going on between an expat gringo and the maid. Its a sordid cliché plot point in every Latin soap opera- also the subject of today’s “boots on the ground” story.

#5- Sign up for Johnny Mueller’s Latin American “Expat Insider” Seminar. The next one will take place on Sat, January 6th  through Thurs, January 11th  2018. Get on the earlybird list and get the info signup details by emailing Johnny at: theexpatfiles@gmail.com

# 6- Johnny’s new “Expat Essentials Course” is a blueprint for your “Plan B” and the best way kick-start your plan before getting boots on the ground in Latin America. See the three video intros to the course now at www.ExpatPlanB.com

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

#8- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com

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October 13, 2017  
#1- Shipping Container Houses in Latin America- Part 2:
With basic container homes now available on Amazon, with complete packages (starting at $36k plus shipping), could it be a good idea to just have a unit sent to your lot in Nicaragua or Honduras or wherever? Sounds like a nice plan right? Today we have the dope on that option..
 
#2- When in Latin America, what you need to know when ordering online from Amazon, Ebay, Alibaba or any commercial website:
Yes things can go wrong, and you can pay way too much or worse. So today we’ll show you some easy steps that will make it all a breeze, as well as offer some tips regarding shipping your items down from the states.
 
# 3- Some late breaking info for gringos and expats interested in residency programs, 2nd nationalities, multiple passports along with a discussion how just this week Bitcoin is starting to shake things up by entering into the 2nd nationality equation.
 
#4- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.
 
#5- Set up a one-on-one personal Phone/SKYPE consult with Johnny by first downloading the “Plan B” consult/questionnaire at www.TheNewExpat.com
 
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