The Expat Files: Living in Latin America A guide to moving to Latin America, finding work, and settling in.

August 30, 2019  
Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #883 FRI, AUG 30 (08-30-2019): `
 

#1- The truth about Poop-hole Countries in Latin America (and elsewhere):

It turns out the depth and breathe and actual skankyness of such places can be quite subjective, and very much in the eye of the beholder.. 

#2- So You Have a House or Condo in Latin America to rent out?

Today we discuss maintenance, marketing, upkeep and selecting a property manager. 

#3-Some Tips for the Ages:

Gringos, Expats and Tourists please shut up and leave your American politics at home.. PLEASE.

Today we touch on this delicate issue as well as other sage advice concerning your behavior in Latin America 

#4- The Trump Effect in Latin America:

Is there one? 

#5- Listeners know Johnny discourages people from moving to Mexico but why?

We all know its cheap and Cancun is nice..  

Meanwhile, entire Mexican local city police forces are continuously being decommissioned, arrested and jailed for mass corruption.

That’s interesting, but does that have to do with anything? 

#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled Friday, Jan 11 through Thursday Jan 16, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then)

 #7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

 

August 26, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #882 SUN, AUG 25 (08-25-2019): `

 #1- The truth about English Language, tourist targeted, newspapers, magazines and other rags:

Every tourist and gringoized area has a few of them and they’re usually weeklies or monthlies and are almost always free. But as they say… nothin’ is for nuthin’ and you get what you pay for (same with this show..Ha!)     

#2- Power outages in Latin America and why you really need a “PORTABLE” SOLAR POWER UNIT:

Today we discuss my recommendations and tips regarding portable solar power units. We’ll talk about my personal picks for all-in-one packages that will power up your basics (TV, Smartphones, computer, refrigerator lights) when there’s a momentary outage or the grid is down. This really good advice is not just for gringos and expats living in Latin America either. Soon enough poop will be getting pretty hairy up in Cleveland too!       

#3- The state of Utility Companies in Latin America:

Private versus Public utility ownership- why gringos and expats vastly prefer private ownership while the locals greatly prefer public (government slug ) ownership 

#4- Rating the Toilets of the World (someone had to do it):

Yes, it’s a report whose time has come, so today without further adoo.. doo, we discuss the good, bad and the ugly in the commode department. Nope there are no “great” porcelain thrones out there, but there are quite a few ecofriendly dual-flush jobs, to which a sane person can only exclaim… Jesus help us! … or maybe just plain WTF!

#5- The real reasons Ecuador threw Julian Assange under the bus:

What you have not been told by the Lame-stream Media and why, after listening to this screed, it’s doubtful you’ll ever want to execute your Plan B in Ecuador. 

#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled for early January, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then) 

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 23, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #881 FRI, AUG 23 (08-23-2019):  

#1- When Gringo Business Ideas Flop:

The more boots-on-the-ground experience, the more functional business ideas will pop into your head. The optimal word is “functional”. Yet there can still be problems. Sometimes gringos and expats have very very good business ideas that just happen to be a year or two ahead of their time and thus don’t pan out. Today we hammer on that subject..   

#2- How Johnny Discovered Monday is Enhanced “Butt Check” Day in most Latin American Plastic Surgery Offices:
Yup, Butt Check Day. Say what Gringo! Well, today we have one of Johnny’s craziest boots-on-the-ground adventures of all, 100% true and uncensored! You won’t want to miss this… 

#3- Thoughts in the ominous arrival of 5G in Latin America: 

#4- For Coffee Lovers Only:

Today we have some Latin American Coffee culture tips you will really appreciate 

#5- One of Latin America’s biggest (legal) growth industries is dental braces for Latinas.

Dentists can barely keep up with the rush and for two reasons: the first is function of course- to fix crooked teeth. Secondly, for the kid and family to demonstrate that the family is upwardly mobile, socially and economically.    

#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s upcoming week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just email theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. The next event is scheduled for early January, 2020 (providing the world doesn’t implode by then) 

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 18, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #880 SUN, AUG 18 (08-18-2019): `

 

#1- Making Life Easier While Traveling with a Portable Water Filter:

Everyone (except some stubborn backpackers) knows it’s not good to drink tap water when you travel (or even at home for that matter). Today we discuss water mistakes gringos and expats continuously make while on the road, combined with some of Johnny’s great hacks on how to make your own absolutely pure water on the run. Your goal should be to avoid the funky local bottle water brands of unknown quality at all costs.    

 #2- MEXICO SUCKS AS A “PLAN B” DESTINATION, YET PEOPLE REMAIN IN DENIAL ABOUT IT:

Why aren’t people listening when there are 101 reasons to move south of “south of the border” and skip Mexico altogether? It’s mostly because Mexico is so easy to get to, many locals speak English and the fact that 95% of gringos and expats who defend the place either haven’t travelled to other Latin countries to know the difference, or they’re live in an insulated gringoized Mexican bubble.

However, today comes some news that should really scare any and all gringo/expat Mexicophiles…. It’s the latest, greatest and final nail in the coffin for gringos thinking of living in Mexico. Nope, this time it’s not about money laundering, kidnapping, extortions, gangs or Narcos, but about a brand new ominous, scary and arbitrary “PROPERTY CONFISCATION” law just passed this month by the Mexican congress. This new law allows the government to expropriate any and all private property WITHOUT a crime conviction, a court hearing or even an order signed by a judge! Now if this news doesn’t scare the poop out of you… then you deserve Mexico.           

 #3- How Safe is your Latin Bank?

All expats and gringos living and hanging south of the border will eventually need an account in a Latin bank or two. Problem is, in each country there are at least 20 banks to choose from. Not to mention every Latin country has its occasional bank failures where people do lose their shirts. So today we discuss exactly how to choose a nice solid bank that won’t bite the dust while you have your dough parked there…     
#4- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s next week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. Providing the world doesn’t implode, the next one is scheduled for early January, 2020.

#5- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 16, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #879 FRI, AUG 09 (08-16-2019): `

#1- Wild and Crazy Airport Stories:

What would you do if this stuff happened to you?

#2- Ten things you need to know if you’re considering Colombia for your “Plan B” destination:

Colombia (along with Ecuador) has been continuously touted by rags like International Living as the next Costa Rica. Today Johnny is broadcasting from the district of Poblado in Medellin Colombia, the epicenter of the gringo diaspora. Can it be hype? Is it all what it’s cracked up to be? Is it really the next and best great gringo/expat retirement destination? Today you’ll hear the good the bad, the ugly and the great regarding Colombia, along with a cautionary tale or two… and some real jaw-dropping surprises and observations you’ve never ever heard before.     

#3- A For Men Only Rant!

Are you planning on jumping into the Latin mating and dating game?

Today by very popular demand, Johnny breaks down the common Latina lady stereotypes that are believed (and perpetuated) by gringos and expats, including some facts about those ladies with gravity-defying hourglass figures. One question that comes up all the time, “Johnny, what Latin countries and cities have the most beautiful and amazing women?” Yes, a very tough question, but today we give it a try in the most statistical and scientific manner possible… Hmmmmmmn   

#4- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s next week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. Providing the world doesn’t implode, the next one is scheduled for early January, 2020.

#5- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 9, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #878 FRI, AUG 09 (08-09-2019): `

#1- Are there Muslim Terrorists and Terrorist cells in Latin America?

Every American wonders if terrorists can, are, or have been slipping in through the Mexican border. No one seems to know for sure, and if so, how do they do it? After all its along swim across the Atlantic for any Middle Easterner.   

For one thing, there’s confusion on the topic because North Americans are obviously not reading the Latin American Spanish language newspapers and media rags (why would they, they’re in Spanish?) But if they did the research, they would be well aware that for years, back since the Hugo Chavez days, Venezuela has been selling passports legal passports at the rate of 800 per month to middle easterners who don’t speak a word of Spanish for from $5000 to $25000 a pop. WTF?

Today you’ll get the real dope (from multiple sources) that answer the hard questions everyone seems to be secretly worrying about…      

 #2- Gringos Owning Guns in America: Ten things you need to know

 #3- Dogs and Home Security tips when living in Latin America

 #4- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s next week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. Providing the world doesn’t implode, the next one is scheduled for early January, 2020.

 #5- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 4, 2019  

#1- How to sabotage your “Plan B” in three easy steps:        

 

#2- Ten ways crooked Latin lawyers gouge and scam gringos:

A compilation of actual events and alarming boots-on-the-ground stories

 

#3- When smart gringos do stupid things:

Even smart, way above average gringos can be had by con men and slick operators. Oddly enough, it’s often the smart gringo “know it all” who get sucked into the bigger scams. Latin swindlers can spot em’, and after the fact will often say they were asking for it. Maybe so.  Maybe its karma. Who knows…
 

#4- The last word on Costa Rica, and why aside from Venezuela, it’s the last place recommended for an ideal Plan B destination:

Why I'd even prefer Cuba over CR…
So today, live from the Costa Rican trenches, we have more agonizing boots-on-the-ground, clueless gringo, rip-off stories

 

#5- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s next week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com for updates and info. Providing the world doesn’t implode, the next one is scheduled for early January, 2020.

 

#6- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

August 2, 2019  

Descriptions- EXPAT FILES SHOW #876 FRI, AUG 02 (08-02-2019): `

 

#1- When Gringo businesses fail:

After spending a loads of time talking about gringos starting up successful businesses in Latin America, today we talk about gringos who have FAILED in business and why. Included here are examples of 3 Latin businesses I was personally involved in that failed, so I know what I'm talking about…       

 

#2- Ten things I learned the hard way while starting a business from scratch in Latin America:

 

#3- The truth about having Latino, gringo (or Canadian) business partners:
 

#4- There are certain Gringos and Expats you DON’T want to hang with:
You will quickly learn that some gringos and expats, often found in self-help meet up groups and sports bars on the tourist trail, are despicable bastards, blowhards and worse. So today we offer some tips on how to avoid some of the very people you have left dodge to avoid. Yes unfortunately some do manage to find their way to Latin America (Note: they often hang together, don’t speak Spanish, are chronic joiners, clubbers and travel in packs)  

 

#5- Why do so many Latin restaurant, Uber and medical waiting room sound systems blast gringo “classic” rock?

What's up with that? Especially since 99% of the time only gringos and expats can understand the words (unless its Mick Jagger or Elton John, then even gringos fail to get it). Another “boots on the ground” story 

 

#6- To get on the early-bird sign up list for Johnny Mueller’s next week-long “Expat Insider Seminar” in Central America, just send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com for the updates and info. 
Providing the world doesn’t implode by then, the next seminar will be scheduled for early January, 2020.

 

#7- Check out my “The Expat Files” You Tube channel. See all the fun slides and photos that go along with each show. There are now more than 150 shows posted on my YouTube channel so have a look.

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