The Expat Files: Living in Latin America

The Expat Files 4.20.25

#1- The annoying “one upmanship” problem that certain expats and gringos seem to want to bring to the table: 

 

#2- Expats and their tired old “war stories”:

Why do certain Expats blather on about what they used to own and what they lost in the divorce? Why do they still carry around old photos of that lost beach house and Range Rover?

 

#3- Expats and gringos, be advised that no one wants to see photos of your kids or grandkids

or hear about their spectacular brilliance:

Its dead boring to hear about any of that since no one gives a shit

about them except you… 

#4- A word about Chapi’s and Chapiadores (aka, gold-digging Latinas): 

 

#5- In defense of those Latinas who prefer much older gringo men:

You probably think its all about the money. Mostly true, but you may change your mind a bit after hearing a 28 year old Latina tell her story… 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

 

The Expat Files 4.18.25

#1- When you think your Spanish is better than it really is:

A common gringo / expat delusion…

#2- (Today by popular demand) The Guatemalan permanent Residency process described in great detail:

#3- That weird and crazy “apostille” process:

There are two types of “apostilles’ actually. If you apply for residency in any Latino country you will have to be familiar with both of them… 

#4- How to get instantly disqualified from the Permanent residency process:

 

#5- The problem with using the US Postal service to send stuff to Latin America:

It will usually get there but it could take 6 months… though definitely much cheaper than FEDEX or any of the courier services 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.13.25

#1- A word about those very big and nasty flying cucarachas:

 

#2- Boots on the ground in Paraguay:

How even smart, astute, Spanish speaking gringos get scammed in Paraguay...

 

#3- Direct from the ER (Emergency Room):

Some amazingly brutal Latin American motorcycle crash stats…

 

#4- Bicycle riding in Latin America:

Is it safe, enjoyable and recommended for gringos and expats?

 

#5- How Latinos deal with death and tragedy:

It’s different in some ways than how we gringos handle it…

#6- Latino humor and why we don’t get the joke:

#7- Latin cops and cell phones:

#8- Latinas and their tattoo habits:  

 

#9- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#10- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.11.25

#1- The strange phenomena of how certain absolutely talentless Latino males become super-popular, super-rich music DJ’s:

Lets see now, they can’t sing, can’t write songs, can’t banter (not much can be done with a 20 word vocabulary) and they can’t play a single musical instrument… WTF?   

#2- When there’s always an Earthquake, fire or hurricane on the Latin American horizon- what’s the proper building material to use when constructing or buying a home in Latin America?

 

#3- Why is it Latinos are almost NEVER prepared for the next impending natural disaster:

Even though all adult Latinos have been through severe hurricanes and/or earthquakes, they don’t seem to have the “impending doom” syndrome like we see with so many Gringos and expats (especially Californians) and therefore don't prepare.  

#4- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#5- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.6.25

#1- “Hey Mommy… a Narco’s moved into the neighborhood”- Part 2 

 

#2- Bad with money:

How wealthy Latinos routinely waste their dough:

 

#3- Too many houses:

Why wealthy Guatemalans generally own three different beautiful homes but oddly enough, none are maintained to gringo standards…

 

#4- A few words about owning a beach house in Latin America:

It’s a dream of many. Problem is the maintenance is never ending,  so the image is usually much nicer than the reality... 

#5- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#6- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 4.4.25

#1- TP problems in Latin America:

Don’t laugh… it’s a real situation…

 

#2- Believe it or not, Latinos think a person is wealthy when they see the following item or items in his home…

 

#3- The challenges of living in culture that has been continuously repaired by large gobs of silicone caulk:

#4- What’s up with all the bare lightbulbs, and generally poor and crappy lighting in most all Latino homes?  

 

#5- DYK that AI is now being tasked to write fake Amazon and other online  product reviews?

So then what reviews can you trust or believe?  

#6- Horrible (but monotonously common) Latin American Kitchen mistakes:

#7- Furniture and products that the Latin American rainy season humidity will quickly destroy:  

 

#8- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

The new edition for 2025 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#9- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 3.28.25

#1- Scammed again by a Mexican Timeshare company:

Fresh green gringos are perfect targets…     

 

#2- Where do Mexican cartels get their drones, AK’s and RPG’s?

Ask Zalensky…

 

#3- DYK that because of a recent explosion in crime, both Peru and Ecuador are under martial law?

Bottom line? Be careful when selecting your Plan B destination…

 

#4- What are the chances you'll get stopped at customs with a shitload of Latin American coffee (or arts and crafts)?

More “boots on the ground” stories…

#5- A word about Latino car clubs and other “guy” hobbies in Latin America:

 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2024 (and beyond) is available now,  including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 3.23.25

#1- Why you should be very careful using Whatsapp:

You will be forced to use it in Latin America. Everyone uses it because its free (so they think) but beware…

#2- Latin American vehicle insurance chaos is never ending:

 

#3- Pay attention to the following car accident scenarios as described:

If you drive long enough in Latin America, eventually one or more of these eventualities will happen to you…

 

#4- About those expat/gringo language hypocrites you will certainly meet:

#5- Yet another handful of reasons you might want to avoid having a Plan B in Panama:

 

#6- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2024 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#7- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 3.21.25

#1- Comfortably unreliable Latinos: 

 

#2- Sin Verguenza means “no shame”

A term you will hear frequently in Latin America…  

#3- Gas station etiquette: 

#4- Negative gringo stereotypes: 

#5- When is “lag time” good? 

#6- Autistic kids in Latin America” 

#7- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

the new edition for 2024 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#8- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com 

The Expat Files 3.16.25

#1- The good and bad news on the Latin American garbage and litter front: 

#2- Big Latin American cities are NOT as polluted as you might think:   

#3- More mating and dating tips when looking for love in Latin America: 

#4- Can gringos and expats overlook the bad cultural habits of Latinos and Latinas? 

 

#5- You might find it hard to believe, but amazingly enough, Latin ladies don’t nag:

Instead of nagging their husbands to fix the light or take out the garbage, most ladies just stay mum and do it themselves…   

#6- Johnny’s lastest rant about social media “influencers”

#7- Be sure to pick up my newly updated, "LATIN AMERICAN HEALTHCARE REPORT":

The new edition for 2024 (and beyond) is available now, including the latest "Stem Cell Clinic" info and data and my top picks for the best treatment centers for expats and gringos. Just go to www.ExpatPlanB.com     

#8- Our own Expat Captain Mango has developed a unique one-on-one Crypto consulting and training service (he’s been deep into crypto since 2013). To get started, email him at:

bewarecaptainmango@gmail.com