that I am somehow subtly discouraging them from coming down to Latin America - with my motive being to preserve my (and other expats) version of paradise- lest newbee interlopers come down and trample it. Well, I suspect the telling of some of my true expat tales is the source of that idea. Maybe some folks would rather face life’s larger calamities on the horizon (up in Cleveland) other than deal with the minor though sometimes frustrating local habits and traditions we expats face when living in Latin America.
-They say if the price is right, even good people will sometimes do dastardly things. And in Latin America the same is true. The only difference is that down here, unlike in the first world, it doesn’t take thousands to subvert a person… a little pocket change will do.
-Chocolate, chocolate, everywhere but not a decent local candy bar to be found! Latin America is precisely where many of the best, highest quality confectionery ingredients in the world come from. They’ve got cacao beans, pecans, almonds, pistachios, cashews, macadamia nuts, raw natural sugar and a dozen kinds of pure honey, as well as many local candy companies producing all kinds of low-grade mediocre sweets, but they still can’t make a quality chocolate bar! Looks like another expat opportunity, yes?
-There are over half a billion people in Latin America… a huge market. And every one with a sweet tooth and addicted to cheap, low grade, candy and junk food. Expats and wanabees looking for a business opportunity should take note that one only has to develop (or even copy) a first world sweet that’s slightly better quality than the local competition (a no brainer) and it’ll be a winner in the local Latin markets.
-Oh Oh... not again! Johnny gets invited to another upscale Latin “cince anos” party (a 15 year old girl’s coming out party). This time he’s tossed in with a host of Latin movers and shakers and very high rollers. As usual he was practically the only gringo in the place and naturally left the place with more crazy stories about living in Latin America….
-Get ready for this… at parties and events, upscale Latins will try to break the ice with gringos like you by speaking English and trying to impress with their superficial knowledge of America sports. They think that by tossing out a few sports facts to a gringo it will put them solidly in your gringo boy’s club (it won't).
-Latin friends have asked me this odd question, “Johnny, I don’t get it. What’s with the gringo obsession with everything and anything to do with zombies?” I've heard that question because all the first world zombie shows have suddenly hit the cable airwaves here (dubbed and translated) yet the Latins have not really bought in to zombiemania yet. But never fear, the first world “lag time effect” will prevail and soon they will be as nuts about zombies as brain dead gringos up north are. Which begs the question… has our society hit an all time low yet, or do we still have a ways to go to scrape bottom of the dumpster?
-Many wanabees want to know if expats eventually get bored with Latin life.... especially those fidgety expats with so-called type “A” personalities. First world expat wanabees living in the big city wonder if they’ll miss the variety of culture and top notch entertainment they're so used to in L.A., Chicago (or Cleveland, don’t laugh). Lets talk about that..
-Follow the link on the main page at www.ExpatWisdom.com to schedule a private consultation with me. If you want to discuss the details of living, working, playing, doing business and/or retiring in Latin America, now you and I can talk about your situation one on one